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My father is in assisted living with f/t help but the help does need to use the bathroom. We are not allowed to put in a double cylinder or similar type lock because of fire hazard; nor can we put in chains that the nurses can't get in from outside. The facility is not a lockdown and he does tend to wander.

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Sorry, but what they are saying is that he cannot stay there. It really is not up to the facility, the guidelines are written in the state dept. of health. He cannot be locked in his room, he needs to go to memory care.
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There are inexpensive door alarms available at Lowes, Menards and Home Depot. They are on the door and the jamb. When the connection breaks, the alarm will sound. There isn't a way to secure a door in an assisted living. Perhaps, a secured memory care facility is the answer to your problem.
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