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My father-in-law lives in a locked memory care unit. There are so many things he cannot remember or do by himself. But he remembers that his license expired. Every time I'm there, he is upset and frustrated that we have not managed to get his license renewed. His license did indeed expire on his birthday (92 years old), and he remembers that. We keep making up excuses like we need to find his old license first. He's a fighter, and would be very angry if we told him he can no longer drive. He keeps asking me questions such as "How do people find their way around", and "How far is your house from here?". I think the plan in his head is to get his license back and drive down to visit us. Even if he did not have dementia, he is not physically capable of even getting into a vehicle. He seems completely unaware of his limitations. Do I just keep making excuses and putting him off and hope that he eventually forgets about the license?

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Usually he does forget about it when he thinks we're working on something for him. This obsession with getting his license renewed has lasted way longer than most. Hopefully he will forget about it soon. He does think my husband is working on it. He keeps asking me when my husband will get to it. I think my husband told him he thought they did that sort of thing on the internet now, and he'd look into it. I really appreciate your ideas.
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Unfortunately your father-in-law is fixated on his driver's license and car and there's not a lot that can be done about that. This happened a lot with my mother-in-law who had Dementia too. I found it best just to go along with whatever she was going on about - because she's going to forget and ask again anyway. But sometimes I would get lucky and she'd remember we're handling "whatever it was" for her. You may try telling him you're in the process of getting his driver's license renewed and they're looking into it but you haven't heard anything yet - and then try to change the subject. But hopefully if he thinks someone is working on it he will drop the subject? It worked on my mother-in-law a few times. It's hard - and you're right - he is completely unaware of his limitations and doesn't even realize he cannot leave the facility on his own anyway. Caregiving and watching your parents decline is extremely hard and all we can do is what we feel is best for them because they can no longer do it themselves, unfortunately. Good luck!!
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Thank you so much for your quick reply. We have told him his old car won't run anymore, but he just says it just needs a new battery. He keeps asking his son to drive him back to his old house so he can pick it up. I don't know how he got away with driving that car for so long. It had no inspection sticker, barely ran, and didn't have an un-dented panel on it. One thing he is aware of is his money (My husband handles that for him), so he believes my husband can just write a check to the insurance company. Dementia is different for everyone. He thinks his wife died last month (she died 17 years ago). He thinks he's 96 years old (he's 92). And yet he remembers everything when it comes to his car and his money. But I do thank you. Perhaps if I tell him his son tried to fix the car but it is not fixable anymore that might help. Though he may just decide we need to take him to buy a new one. I will also try to change the subject if he starts in on the car/license issue. That has worked for me in the past with other relatives that had dementia.
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Remind him that without a car and insurance he will be unable to drive with or without a license. Depending on how cognitive he is, maybe that will be enough to satisfy him.
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