It is difficult. I have found that if someone had mental deficiencies when younger and they have never been successfully addressed, then it only becomes worse with age.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom

Can you arrange for care, but not hands-on? How about always having a second person with you anytime you are around the elder?  Can you tell their doctor about this problem and your reasonable fears? (You don't need HIPPA to give the doctor information.) Could be wrong here, but I've always felt that being right up-front, not trying to hide abuse because you are ashamed, etc. , is a safer tactic than keeping secrets. Abusers love secrecy.
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Reply to rovana

This is difficult I am certain. We, in this generation, often made rash promises to never put a LO in a facility. At that time we had a fully competent parent.

Many of us were raised with the honor thy father and thy mother. A guilt producing passage if ever there was one.

To honor them and to take care if them, often means you put in the care of professionals. And there is no shame, nor guilt in doing so. Often there are things with dementia that are beyond your abilities. Most often there are, as so many posts here will support.

Peace to you, OP.
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Reply to Segoline

Your profile says Mom is in an AL. Is this who you r talking about. If she has Dementia, not much you can do about it. This is how her brain is working. No amount of trying to reason with her will change how she is thinking. All I can say is to allow the AL to care for her, do her laundry. Don't visit too much. If she starts when you get there, leave.
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Reply to JoAnn29

More information, please. Any details you care to share would be helpful.
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Reply to Ahmijoy

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