How to begin to prepare for moving my husband to a care facility?

We are looking at Memory Care Centers for my mom and there is a discount of probably $1,000 - $2,000 discount for him for being a veteran (also applies to wives and widows) A lot of the places won't tell you that....so ask! Good luck.

I worked 22 hours a day sometimes to give my mother the best care I was capable of. I have to admit that a staff of Certified Nursing Assistants (CNAs) working a total of 21 shifts a week could care for Mom better than one dedicated daughter could in a good week. Plus, I have seen members of the older generation of my mother's family seriously impair their own health when they heroically cared for their close relatives for years while they themselves were aging into their 80's, even 90's. Sounds like a good run, and these caregivers were singly responsible for keeping their husband's alive well into their nineties, but the toll it took on them was too much. I saw that when it was happening, but I know it now from the experience of the extreme-caregiver, from which years my own health and physical condition was seriously compromised. My mother is doing better under the care of well-supervised, and well-rested, refreshed caregivers. You can concentrate on what you do best, providing guidance to the doctors and staff, and your loving attention to your husband. Let others do what they do best.

Yes first check if he's a veteran but I know veterans homes have long wait list. You should be able to call. I did that and got my dad on the wait list but there are exceptions to allow them to move up on the list

My heart goes out to you. This is someone you have loved for a long time. But, that love will not stop when he is moved. Telling him that he needs to move is probably the most difficult task of all of the tasks that those of us involved in this process have had to do. Just do it with love and kindness and hope for the best. As for the Veterans' Home, to add to what pamstegma has said, I will simply state that you do not want to contact any veterans anything by mail. Mail has a tendency to fall between the cracks. I stopped waiting on a response from a letter I sent eight years ago. It was never answered. You will always want to talk to them in person, even if you have to see them in person to make an appointment to see them. This is not an easy time for you, but I will pray for you that you will have the strength to do all you must do. In the end, if the facility you place him in is of good repute, then what you will be doing is keeping him safe. That is a loving thing to do.

If he is a veteran with service connected disability, he goes to the top of the priority list. Call them, visit them, ask for a tour with him. Bring his service records or discharge papers.