How to pay for getting Mom's house ready for sale?

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Mom.had surgery recently and won't be able to return home. I am her DPOA and main caregiver,.and she has asked me to get house ready for sale...there are walls that need attention, some gutters replaced, kitchen faucet leaks and some windows are totally stuck and on and on. One realtor said, spend about $10k fixing up, and not any more. Another said if we tried to sell "as-is" it would only attract low-ball offers. So, mom has said to go ahead and work within the approx 10k fix-up budget. The problem is she doesn't have that much in her checking account. Am legally OK with extracting the monies from her Trust investments (non-IRA)? A friend said I should set up a totally separate account, in the Trust name, because once the house sells, I have to have a place to deposit it. I cannot put proceeds from house into her checking account since we are Joint Owners (she want me to inherit anything left over in that very small acct). The house is titled in Trust and after she dies (and all the nursing home bills ) if anything is left over the 5 sibs get what is left. So I just want it all to proceed without the sibs feeling like I wasted money getting it sold.

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wow that is a good idea, change the locks, will go over to Lowe's tonight and have hubby figure that out (he is nervous too, so will give him something to do). The lawyer was for once, very nice, and did talk briefly with me at the visitation, apart from siblings, which was good. I'll meet again next week. I did send out a "mass" email to everyone to just say, hold onto your wishes--I cannot let anything go from her house until I meet with lawyer and get it somewhat organized. I don't want to seem like I am telling them all what to do, but, I AM telling them to wait, maybe for my own sanity.
The house is going to need lots of cleaning but I am not going to let grandkids in to do it, as much as I would like. Mom had a paid caregiver who is now suddenly without pay, so I am going to pay her, her usual weekly rate and I will help her, clean out & re-arrange furnishings.
It occurs to me, there will actually be need for 2 cleanings: one, before the Open House(s), and then 2nd, after it sells--have to completely empty everything out and for that I will probably call the local charity organizations and let them take literally everything.
The funeral was supposedly "pre-paid" but the budget for flowers, food, music, and other items was way too low! We needed to have snacks/beverages, and other food items for the visitation &prayer hour, because there were some with very small children who needed to escape, and I also spend about $30 on coloring books and brought in some old crayons, and set up some Peter Rabbit videos on the TV for them. The flowers were much more expensive, and the organist and cantor rates that funeral home quoted $100 was only half of the expected amounts. Mom also wanted a classical harpist and flute to play during Communion and before/after Mass. And the lunch we couldn't have in the church basement due to the rummage sale---grrr---so we had to go to the local country café and actually I liked the food there much better, but it was over $2,000.
I have no regrets, and mostly, because I kept myself glued to that harvest gold vinyl recliner chair watching over her, and reading Bible verses and singing her favorite hymns as best as I could. I hardly remember eating, my husband also brought me food and stayed as long as he could (but he had to report to work in the morning). I am so glad she avoided living in a facility for months on end.
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Oh, Mallory, I'm so sorry - I thought funeral expenses were first anyway but I just hate you had to come up with it - guess would have just thought she would have had to or at least that you wouldn't - that's a lesson I suppose that the funeral homes make you even if they do have it? - glad you at least did or at least had the credit to get it - I have known of so many lately that neither they nor their family did - my dil's grandfather just passed and his kids were out doing car washes, grilling, bake sales, anything they could to come up with the money - nobody had any credit either, just realizing what a problem if you've run it up ahead of time - wow

I believe I might consider changing the locks too - I would have liked to have but dad had let a grandchild move in so considered his residence and I couldn't - but these people can come for that but couldn't come for her funeral?

When's your lawyer appointment? did have trouble with that grandson - had no idea even had to have a lawyer - what's the problem he kept wanting to know
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I too am sorry that your mother is no longer with you, and am equally sorry for the inappropriate and selfish behavior of some of your siblings.

Your mother's will and/or Trust if she has one may have a provision that the expenses of her last illness are priority payments. That should keep the family quiet for awhile as you calculate and make arrangements to pay all those expenses, including reimbursement for the funeral costs which you advanced.

I might even go so far as to change the locks on the house.
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Mallory, I am sorry for your loss and that you are having to deal with so much family wanting so soon.
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Mom passed away June 18th. She just couldn't pull through, but all very peaceful, only 2 siblings could make it to see her before she passed -- but she was unconscious by the time they arrived. Funeral was Monday 22nd. One sibling didn't even come, said it cost too much but wants me to send the video, I guess I can do that, so he can have some closure. I got no help whatsoever with all the funeral prep and I am exhausted. Spent about $6000 on my own credit.card and hope it is reimbursed by estate. Already 2 (of 4) siblings have asked me, "when will I get some money " and several grandkids want to get in her house to grab furniture and kitchen stuff. I have an appointment with the lawyer and am not letting anyone in the house!
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Thinking of you and mom, Mallory.
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I'm so sorry; please let us know
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Mallory, I hope the stroke issues can be addressed quickly and safely.

I'm keeping you in my thoughts and hoping tomorrow brings relief, stability and rest for both of you.
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We are in ER, she appears to have had a stroke from clot travel to lungs, there is lots of testing going on....
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Freq & Garden - good to know the 250K still in effect.

Mallory - let us know how the care plan meeting goes today. With the change in your mom's other leg, they may want to reschedule but really try to make them stick to it. If you have a friend who can come & be there with you, try to have that happen - mainly for another set of ears hearing what is discussed. I don't know if you've had a care plan meeting before but for the ones on my mom at both NH she was in it was such that a point person was there for each of the departments - social work, activities, dietary, nursing but not necessarily the medical director. IF there is something you want addressed bring it up AND write it in the meeting report. This will be a preprinted sheet in mom's binder/chart and will have details on who was at meeting. There usually is 2 - 5 lines that are blank for notes to go into & the nursing staff usually does this BUT as your mom's DPOA / MPOA you too can write whatever concerns or actions you want addressed by the facility. You will be asked to sign off on the sheet too and that is when you write in your concerns. The binder seems to go after the meeting to the DON (director of nursing who is the goddess and ruler of a NH) who then checks to see if whatever needed to be done has been done.

Hope that mom's spirits get better. Surgery is always difficult and depressing then with other "healthy" parts going amiss even more so. If mom could be on the yo-yo pattern of being ok then having an incident and each time declining more, think carefully how you would be able to juggle being there for mom AND having to deal her home repairs AND your home & life as well. There is only so much Mallory to go around…...
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