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He is very particular about who he will allow to help him. Providing transportation, or driving, or shopping.  He's had to learn to walk and talk all over and come a very long way but many days he will crawl to get a crutch and i know that he doesn't feel safe to drive alot of the time and he has very few grocerys often and the bathroom is in need of repair. Is there any way to set up a way for someone to get paid to help him as needed?

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Sounds like your friend has in fact made a lot of progress but still could use assistance, from medical professionals and therapists. Will he allow home care to come in? A therapist could help with the mobility issues and a nurse would coordinate other services, including social work that might help find someone to help with chores and shopping.

If his resistance to other than friends' help extends to medical help, perhaps you can explain to him that the goal in the long run is increased mobility, strength, etc., and using help from professionals is the best way to get there. They aren't going to judge him; in fact they'll encourage him.

As to nonmedical assistance, GeeWiz spells it out - someone will need to find a driver, grocery shopper and other chore service performer, agree on the rates, which would likely include mileage, and arrange for payment.

I think though that you're asking if there is community or governmental help for these chore services, and that I don't know as I don't know what your friend's medical conditions are. This is an issue to raise with one of his doctors, who could order home medical care which would be paid for by Medicare.

I'm wondering if he gets disability and if that could be a source for payment of additional home and chore care.

He or you could also contact your local community (try Senior Center, Building & Code Enforcement) to find out if they get HUD emergency funds for income qualified people. Habitat for Humanity and Christmas in Action might be able to help with home repairs, and they do this as the purpose for their organizations.

Is he a Vet? There's an Veteran managed organization which helps in various situations; unfortunately I can't remember the name of it right now.
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Your friend can pay for services to whomever provides them. Do you or someone else have power of attorney to pay bills for the person in need? Then the one providing the services would prepare an 'invoice' and the funds would come from the person in need.

Looking beyond your exact question, if you want someone else to pay for those services your question would need to be more specific.
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