How to move our Mom (91) from her home to assisted living?

what is wrong with her wanting to die at home?
Why cant you get someone to come in and help her with the things she needs help with? Nursing homes and assisted living, they are NOT home.... you know the saying, Theres no place like home..,,, good luck, I do not think lying to her is a good Idea, would you want that to happen to you?

I agree with Mary12 involve her doctor and try to come up with a transition plan. Take a few weeks to ask her questions about how she is able to care for herself. Ask her questions about preparing her meals and Activities of Daily living (ADL's) and Independent Activities of Daily Living (IADL's) Sometimes bringing a third party to do an assessment of ADL's and IADL's can push someone out of Denial and help the recognize the need help. Also taking her to lunch and to do a tour with no pressure at theAssisted Living can show her it is not a house of horrors. When doung a transition I always try to make it become their idea on a couple levels before I tell them that it is my opinion that they need to move. I try to work with then over 4-8 weeks slowly nudging the to come to their own conclusions. Giving them time to process things so they do not feel controlled. I try to give them as much control as possible. I know this is hard. Sometimes having a third party involved with the doctor Helps her to come to terms with where she is.

You are correct in many cases I'm sure, before taking her there I discussed it with her Dr and also the staff at assisted living.I just felt in her case she might need a sense of closure since she decided on her own it was to be a permanent thing.This is a very difficult step (moving into assisted living) I would advise talking all steps taken over with professionals and also people who know her the best.

Taking residents back to there home after placing them in Assisted Living can sometimes turn into a real mess. I have heard of times when they will get to their old home and refuse to go back to Assisted Living. I would perhaps just ask them if there is anything they want from the old home as opposed to taking them there.

When we realized it was time for my mother in law to go to assisted living we first made a appointment to speak with her Doctor.His advice was to tell she was in need of some physical therapy and she would be more comfortable getting it in that setting instead of at home.She has a little Apartment there ,we had her pick out what furniture she wanted to bring telling her we wanted he to be comfortable while she was there.She settled in quite well at first every month or so she would say she felt better and would be home soon .Then there came the day she announced she liked it there and wanted to stay,so go ahead and sell her house.When house sold took her over to see if there was anything else she wanted,she looked around and seemed quite happy with her decision.