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Maybe mine will serve as a kind of cautionary story. Decades ago, I took care of my elderly parents (late-life baby). From my mid-20s to almost 40. There was no Internet then, and I was told by a doctor that I was supposed to do it. I would have been too wracked with guilt if I hadn't, anyway. It cost me so much in terms of setting up my own life and in terms of earnings during those years - where they lived, there weren't many jobs in my field. After they died, I moved to a more appropriate place and got a good job right away.

But I'm still paying for those years in so many ways - economically, socially, in terms of lack of memories of any happy times during those years, regret.
I had no help from my 2 siblings during those years. I act like it doesn't matter because making any resentment known harms those relationships now.
I feel most of the time like I'm carrying around a 500-pound weight. I did then, too.

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Thank you, Peggy Sue.
PS I love that movie! Is that why you chose it?
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Thank you for sharing.

You used your strength & courage to pull along your parents 'canoes'. Your values guided you. Maybe you did miss a few forks in the river that could have taken you to interesting work, met new people, gone to new places, but you carried along the river you choose at the time. That's ok!

You are older now. Your older self may choose differently if the choices arrived today. That's also ok. We change. We become longer sighted!

Thank your younger self for that journey. It is never too late for the next..

Very seldomly I feel a passing sigh for all the days I spent my labour as free assistance, instead of earning. But I made the best decision I could at the time.
I name it *education*.
No regrets.
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Marezipan May 2022
Thank you so much for your compassion, Beatty.
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I’m so sorry. Your words should provide a cautionary tale to the trend of giving 70 you, 80 you alive with so many more treatments than were available then. Being the caregiver is often a thankless and even financially worthless task.
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