First of all, all of us wrestled with this caregiver question sooner or later. You will find some good responses here. Speaking of my own situation, I could not do it because my “love” prevented me from doing it. However I was retired and already staying at home when I became a caregiver. Also, my LO did not have significant behavioral problems, just morbidity ones. If you keep a LO at home as a caregiver you need to get durable medical equipment to help you, and maybe home health care aides. If you have a specific question, you can send me a private message in this website; just select my profile name and it will open a window for messages.
Is he displaying signs of behavior that you're not able to cope with? Do you feel he has disregard for safety in the house? Are you completely exhausted and lacking sleep because of your constant care? Is he incontinent? Does he wander, hallucinate, become aggressive? There is seldom a single reason for a caregiver to decide to place their LO in a care facility.
Your profile suggests he's exhibiting several dementia symptoms. You don't say he has dementia, so that's your first step, have him screened for dementia by his doctor. There may be many reasons for these symptoms, some treatable some not. Before you start thinking about a facility, find out what's causing his problems. If it's dementia, educate yourself about the cause, Alzheimer's, Lewy body, etc., and begin to look at various options for his care based on your level of coping.
When you know you can no longer do a better job than a fully-trained staff can to ensure your LO's comfort and safety while still maintaining balance with your own family and life. Mind you, loving on that person will still be your job, and if you're freed up to do that part of the job even better than you do now, then that's all the more reason to do it because you'll be so much less stressed. You never want them to be unloved because of something they couldn't help.
A lot of people draw the line at fecal incontinence and dementia.
Or at 24/7 care.
It's sad, but once all three are involved, especially, it's the kindest thing to do.
My bestie originally planned to have her mom live with her. The mom hit her head and all these criteria materialized rapidly. She lasted a year trying to do it with family (keep in mind they are close and she was helping before) but the first two criteria were absolutely it.
She went into a board-and-care that cost about $5,000/month with the therapeutic fib of how the house needed to be tented for bugs or rats. Within a few months, she was happy with her new friends and that's all she cared about or could remember.
Your profile suggests he's exhibiting several dementia symptoms. You don't say he has dementia, so that's your first step, have him screened for dementia by his doctor. There may be many reasons for these symptoms, some treatable some not. Before you start thinking about a facility, find out what's causing his problems. If it's dementia, educate yourself about the cause, Alzheimer's, Lewy body, etc., and begin to look at various options for his care based on your level of coping.
Or at 24/7 care.
It's sad, but once all three are involved, especially, it's the kindest thing to do.
My bestie originally planned to have her mom live with her. The mom hit her head and all these criteria materialized rapidly. She lasted a year trying to do it with family (keep in mind they are close and she was helping before) but the first two criteria were absolutely it.
She went into a board-and-care that cost about $5,000/month with the therapeutic fib of how the house needed to be tented for bugs or rats. Within a few months, she was happy with her new friends and that's all she cared about or could remember.