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anyone have experience in how to cope with starting hospice? a hospice facility?

survivalmode: Speak to the individual's physician.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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My MIL was being treated for a form of lung cancer. She wasn't responding well to the immunotherapy and it was making her very sick. The therapy was stopped for three weeks when she was in the hospital for something unrelated, and when she was released (to our home), she told her oncologist she wanted to discontinue treatment for the cancer. I don't remember how the subject of hospice was actually raised (possibly by the doctor or a nurse) but her oncologist was the one who approved her for hospice. They were wonderful. The aide was so kind and much better than I at giving her showers. The nurses were always available by phone for questions and visited twice a week. When she passed away in the middle of the night we called and they came out right away to take care of things.
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Reply to iameli
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When Mom became bedbound I called hospice directly and they sent an RN out to evaluate Mom and she was enrolled. i.e. I self referred.
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Reply to brandee
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Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It’s heartwarming to hear how Hospice care made such a huge difference for both your parents and for you as a caregiver. Being able to focus on your role as a daughter rather than constant stress must have been such a relief.
It’s really valuable to hear practical examples like bringing care to the home, handling medications, and even X-rays things we often don’t realize Hospice can do. Your story is a great reminder that Hospice isn’t about ending life but about providing comfort and peace for everyone involved. Truly inspiring!
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Reply to zircen
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It’s was very simple for me when I determined that the care she was getting was not adequate I put her in hospice. I told my wife it was not permanent or that she was going to die it was just because she needed more care. Unfortunately, she gave up and died two months later. Personally, I think it’s a mental thing that the word Hospice signifies the end is near.
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Reply to Sample
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Both my parents (93 & 95) went on Hospice. My father had pulmonary fibrosis and when I was unable to handle his care, we called Hospice. Incredible care and his checkups they gave at home were much better than any we had received at the doctors offices. Plus we didn't have to leave the house! My mother had dementia and was in a facility when we finally started receiving Hospice care. Before, if she fell and there was ANY blood, the facility was required by law to send her to the ER, via ambulance, then she, and I, were put through the trauma of hospital waiting and tests. When she went on Hospice, I was able to go from caregiver mode back to being a daughter again. They even brought Xray machines to her! and we never had to have another ER trauma experience. They handled her meds, her personal care items, her baths and visitation. Their care was invaluable for my sanity and everyones' peace of mind. So, when their care becomes a job for you, I highly recommend you seek their help. They are not there to end life but to assist with making the experience as comfortable as possible. For everyone.
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Reply to MamaChar
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Kaiser sent doctors and therapists to my dad under palliative care. Bloodwork would be done to monitor and manage his ckd and Parkinson’s. Pt helped him to keep walking. Until the day mom found him crumpled and delirious in the upstairs suite where he lived.

From that point on, he didn’t need lab work. He was constantly agitated or complaining of pain for which we needed drugs that you need hospice to get. He couldn’t toilet at all so the nurse put in a foley and left us with a store full of free chux and pads and tabbed diapers and depends and showed us how to change him. The hospice staff were the only ones he would even tolerate outside of family. If he had continued living, our plan was to take him to their hospice house and leave him there.

If you don’t need the drugs or bath help, I’m not sure why you’d go on hospice.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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My mom kept being sent to the hospital for emergencies. Her blood pressure kept dropping and she almost lost consciousness. My mom's heart condition was inoperable due to her age and health. Then her doctor recommended Hospice Care.
My dad kept having emergency hospital visits due to pneumonia. He couldn't breath and his heart condition was inoperable. The doctor recommended Hospice Care.
So when your loved one starts having hospital emergencies and his a chronic condition that is getting worse, you have to make a decision with their doctor to enter Hospice Care.
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Reply to Onlychild2024
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The doctor can request a Hospice evaluation.
BUT..
I walked into the Hospice near me and asked "How does one qualify for Hospice" the nurse talked to me, asked a few questions. She called my Husbands doctor and came back and told me he was approved for Hospice.
Typically the person's doctor will say that if the course of the medical condition continues this person has 6 months or fewer. That is a "guideline" as long as there is a documented, continued decline that meets Medicare guidelines a person can remain on Hospice. They are recertified/reevaluated and if they have declined they can remain on Hospice.

Hospice is wherever the person is.
Medicare covers Hospice it does NOT cover a Hospice In Patient Unit (unless the person is there for symptom management or Respite) or a "Hospice House". room and board.
Hospice may be able to find a facility that has an open bed if you are unable to find one. Often a facility may "find" a bed if a person is on Hospice simply because they assume the person will not be a long term resident.

I am of the belief that people do not take advantage of the support and help that Hospice offers and it is never to soon to get a Hospice evaluation.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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If you feel that your loved one is declining with no hope for improving, then by all means call the hospice agency of your choice(as they're not all created equal)and have them come out to do an assessment. You do not need a doctors order to call them.
They will let you know if your loved one qualifies for they're services, and will take things from there.
And if and when your loved one is "actively" dying, you will have the option of taking them to the hospice home/facility where Medicare will cover the cost 100%. Only if they continue living longer than a week will you have to pay out of pocket for them to remain there.
And just know that if you opt for in-home hospice care that you will still be responsible for 99% of your loved ones care as in-home care only includes a nurse coming once a week to start to check vitals and such and aides coming about twice a week to bathe them.
You of course will have access to the hospice social worker, chaplain and volunteers, and they will supply any and all needed equipment, supplies and medications, all covered 100% under your loved ones Medicare.
Best wishes in finding the right care for your loved one.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Welcome. Many people here have experience with hospice services
but it would help us out if you'd give some specific information and questions.
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Reply to MidwestOT
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