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My spouse has Parkinson's and dementia along with sundowners and hypersexuality. Some days are okay but others are incredible stressful. My body is fighting a growing cancer, but I am not in treatment as yet. My daughter is all for finding a care facility for her dad, but I am torn about when is the right time.

You absolutely must start the process of finding other means of care for your spouse NOW, while you still have the energy to do so. This in itself is an energry drain, and should not be done during a crises if you want the best chance of finding a care commuinity that you can have some peace of mind in.

The fact that you know that you will be needing treatment to deal with a cancer illness is a sound reason to make this move now. You may need therapies that zap you energies, and how will you care for your spouse then? Also, the stress of trying to continue as you are now may very well compromise your ability to respond well to the treatments.

Anyone looking at your particualar situation would totally get your reasoning and support you. You are blessed to have a daughter to start with.

Best wishes
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to FixItPhyl
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I was told that when you ask that question it is time...or even past the time.
Placing someone is a facility that can meet their needs is NOT a a failure on your part to take care of someone it is admitting that their care is more than what you can manage at home by yourself. (and sometimes even with caregivers helping it is more than what can be done at home)
Start looking for a facility.
If there is even a remote possibility that Medicaid will be applied for in the future make sure the facilities that you look at will accept Medicaid. The last thing you need to do is have to search again and move him.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Survivingtoday Feb 24, 2025
Thank you for your response. I know he will resist this change, and I will feel very conflicted and guilty. Such a difficult time of life!
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The time is now.
You are so wrapped up in the care of hubby that you have actually told us "My body is fighting a growing cancer, but I am not in treatment as yet".
I think that you understand that is an unwise at best and deadly at worst decision.
Listen to your daughter. I am so happy she is there for your support.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Well if you have a growing cancer it maybe time to take of you . Let your daughter find a care facility and you seek treatment .
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Reply to KNance72
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