At this point, care for my grandmother has been narrowed down to 3 options, one that we've mostly ruled out, and the other two my mother and I don't see eye to eye. 1. Memory Care AL in her home town in Virginia (where all the family lives but none will commit to visiting regularly) 2. Memory Care AL where my mother and I live in California (where we could visit any time day or night and would definitely) 3. In-Home care and shifts between the two of us while my grandmother lives in our home (my mother's home). My mother and I are at odds on deciding between options 2 and 3 (I like 2, she wants 3). I've posted before about my grandmother, but short version is that she has dementia (most likely Alzheimer's) maybe stage 4-5, she's a high fall risk because she shuffles, gets tired, but also has moods where she refuses to use her walker. She has high anxiety and some depression that was never treated and now is, of course, much worse. She needs 24/hr watch and standby assistance, and I'd say she has wild delusional episodes 5/7 days a week. She tends to be very mean to my mom. Meds have helped some, but having never taken a medication in her life, most of the side effects turn out worse than the behaviors. My mother is convinced that in a home, my grandmother will decline a lot faster, will be scared every night because she doesn't see her family, and won't get the specialized attention that we can give her. Also, my aunt died last week and my mother thinks its too traumatic to move my grandma out of our house. I think that we don't have the skills and patience, my mother has health issues with her lungs and works full time, and I cannot maintain being primary caregiver any longer. (I'm only 29 and trying to start my life) I also feel as if we could all maintain better relationships if grandma goes to a memory care place, and that she will have the structure and activities and socialization that she needs. I know that no one can say what to do, but opinions??