How to know the "best" thing to do?

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I need some moral guidance. I think that I have one family member abusing another family member. It is verbal abuse, not physical. The "abusee" insists that the "abuser" is much better, these days.

I have spoken to the abusee and they really don't want me to do anything about the situation. So, up to now, I haven't. The abusee is an adult and able to make their own decisions and has asked me to respect that and I have done so.

However, I have started to suspect that the abuser wants to have the abusee committed (which is much harder than you might think, I suspect) or find some similar way to get the abusee put away somewhere that they don't belong.

The abusee trusts me and has given me POA. However, I have to think that all it would take for the abuser to get POA would be to take the abusee somewhere to sign the papers and get them notarized, as POA forms tend to have verbiage that says that the one being signed replaces all previous ones. I can kind of imagine the abusee feeling intimated and guilty and signing something they kind of don't want to sign and, then, there's not a lot I'd be able to do, probably.

While I want to do the best for the abusee, I don't really have any proof that I'm right about the situation. Also, I don't feel I have the right to keep the two apart, especially since I really have no proof.

Is there anything else I could do to protect this person? Should I really be worrying about this?

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No they don't make sense. Sometimes you think you hear someone being sweet on the phone, but they are actually pushing the other person's buttons. It's called "passive aggressive" and can drive a spouse to lose control. I knew a passive aggressive woman who took great delight in pushing her husband over the edge. She said when he finally lost it and hit her, she won. It takes two to tango.
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I am basing this on things they have both told me and have been on a single side of some of the phone conversations. But it's kind of slim. I don't know that what I've heard is enough to really "do" anything about the situation. Plus, the person who is possibly being abused is kind of close to the other person and really doesn't want to hurt the other one's feelings by cutting off contact.

Maybe none of this really makes sense, but it's just one of those family situations -- they never do really make sense...
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As POA, you carry forth the wishes of the person who designated you. Keep records of any abuse you have actually witnessed. Put up a Nanny Cam if you can. Do not act on hearsay, you don't know if there is a victim here, or if someone is manipulating you with one-sided reports.
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