How to keep your elderly dementia mother awake during the day so she can sleep at night?

Roger, it sounds like you're trying to do all this on your own.
I expect you're in the US and I don't know how things work there, but can you get in touch with adult social services and ask for help?
At the moment, it looks like your mum isn't in need - because you are there. But you can't stay there and outside agencies need to be involved.
I'm writing this after you would have had the appt. with your mum's doctor, but in the UK the GP often has good advice about where to go next. So, call social services and speak with the doctor.

The care homes saying that your mum is a liability is not putting your mum's health and safety first. There must be some facility that would be equipped to deal with your mum's needs.
And you need to go home!

This is the research I found:

"There are also other parts of the brain which control whether or not we stay awake, and these may also not work properly if they become damaged. Sometimes a person with dementia might completely reverse their normal sleep pattern, staying up all night and then sleeping all day."
Jan 29, 2024

"They may become restless or agitated in the late afternoon or early evening, an experience often called “sundowning.” Experts estimate that in late stages of Alzheimer's, individuals spend about 40 percent of their time in bed at night awake and a significant part of their daytime sleeping."

Read this:
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/symptoms-and-diagnosis/sleep

Should you let a dementia patient sleep all day?

"It can be hard to stay awake during the day after a poor night's sleep but, if possible, it's best to try to limit sleep during the day to small bursts or 'catnaps'. Otherwise the person's body clock can become very confused and this makes sleeping well during the night even harder."
Jan 29, 2024

Gena / Touch Matters

Rogerwyatt7890: She needs to see her physician. It is imperative that you get restorative sleep. You'll be good to no one without it.

2 ways of adjusting her sleep patterns, gentle or quick
Gentle - make her go to bed a little earlier every day and stay up a little longer during the day. Requires that she get stimulation - activities, walks, listen to music, watch movies, hobbies... Eventually, she will be on a schedule that is more manageable.
Quick - set firm times for rest and wake periods. Make sure she does not sleep during a "wake" period by any means necessary. In about 3 days or so, she will adjust to the new schedule. Please note that she - and maybe you - will not be as pleasant to be with during this transition period.

Dementia is an illness and some of its symptoms can be very difficult to cope with. It may be worth talking to your doctor about other methods of managing sleep and wakefulness that may be more effective. It's important to create a consistent day-night routine, including regular sleep and wake times and activities throughout the day, which can help reduce anxiety and support healthier sleep.

Adult daycare or hire an aide at night until you can get Mom placed in memory care . If you hired an aide at night maybe you could go home to sleep if you live close by . If not , get good ear plugs . I hope Mom has money for this . You shouldn’t use your money . Good luck getting her placed . I don’t see any other permanent viable solution . You need to get back to your own family .

Adult Day Care, she needs day time stimulation and be with people her own age. Isolation causes may issues with the elderly.

Just wanted to say I feel for all of you that have gone through this. Caregiving is so hard then to do this on such little sleep.

Makes me feel a little guilty for complaining about taking care of my mom daily but not 24/7

I'm honestly not a religious person, but want to say God bless all us wonderful people that care so much.

Yes a caregivers night sleep is important. But so is Mother's safety.

Mother's PCP discontinued her sleeping medication - yet you are medicating your Mother with OTC medications?

Go back to the PCP.
Tell the PCP you are not coping.

Physical exercise if there's something she can and will do. If she's wandering and pulling things out all night, you may have to place her. That isn't safe for her. No telling what they can get into when unsupervised.

I don't know what you've got going on during the day but we had my 100-yr old Aunt with advanced dementia doing "tasks" to burn mental and physical energy. It helped her sleep better at night for many years, and then eventually that changed.

- portable (tabletop) pedaler. She did it with her feet while watching tv. 20 min.
- folding a large stack of kitchen towels (dedicated towels just for this purpose)
- sorting poker chips by color
- reading to us out loud
- walking her around the house
- playing any card or board games, her rules

She was being given Tylenol PM and it didn't work all the time and eventually wasn't working at all. After starting the tasks she slept great and we stopped the Tylenol PM. She had memory deficit so we'd have her fold the same towels 2x a day. She also watched Pixar and DreamWorks animated movies with the captions on and read the entire movie to herself. I hope you can find something that works!

This is such a common problem among elderly people. My mom slept in her recliner for a good portion of the day.

My mother went to bed at a decent hour but she had nightmares that would awaken her.

There was a time when she was wondering at night. The doctor prescribed Ativan and Seroquel and the wondering stopped.

Have you discussed other medications besides sleeping pills with her doctor?

Also, look at side effects of any medication that she is taking. My brother had to take certain medications for health issues. One of the side effects was not being able to sleep.

Is there an Adult Day Program near you that she can get involved with?
Getting her busy and engaged during the day may help with her getting to sleep at night.

A side note if the OTC sleep aids contain Benadryl they can make an already "foggy" brain more foggy. And they can also make her a fall risk.

Roger, I thought you were leaving? How did I get that wrong?
Sleep disturbance is one of the most normal things about aging and aging with dementia. I doubt there's a whole lot you can do about it.

Just curious Roger, does your mom have any liver issues? People with liver problems often get there days and nights mix up