I was on here while ago and have been mostly reading. It still amazes me how much we are going through it because of families with narcissistic personalities.
There are things I have had to do in order to protect my best interests and in between being busy with my own life, looking for ways to continue doing so.
I have a narcissistic mother and especially one of my sisters. The latest issue I am having is that my sister physically attacked me; let's just say I had to teach her a lesson for it where I got the best of her. But I know she is calmer for only a certain period of time.
However, of course I do not want to be communicating in this manner where I used to have to with her when we were kids. Here it is happening all over again in our 50s? I tend to stay away from her a lot, and she lives in another state, but our grandmother and mothers' senior issues make us interact from time to time. To make matters worse my mother is narcissistic too. This is where it all started; with her. And she instigated this last altercation, acting like she was "concerned", when really it's is a sick way of keeping us separated and therefore controlled in her warped mind. I no longer fall for it but my sister is a chip off the old block. I'm just left defending myself these days (the scapegoat).
So, I thought I was away from all that mess but now that our mother is facing another surgery--something that she seems to love going through a little too much for my taste, I think because it's not only an attention getter, but she thinks it's going to be a quick fix. But this is pretty major as she can actually end up immobile in her own words, and the closer it gets (a month from now), I'm afraid it is throwing me back in the mix with them. Told her I won't be able to be the caretaker, but she is not very prepared for this thing and I am left taking it into account if something goes wrong.
Like, I'm waiting for her to let me know about giving me her spare keys because I live the closest to her and there's no way I can just ignore it if something were to go wrong. I did let her know some months back when the altercation with my sister happened, that I wasn't going to be around for their regular functions and don't call me about it. Only call me for emergencies. So, I would need to have access to her home with this surgery issue so it doesn't escalate. These emergencies have happened in the past and I'm sick of her being reckless due to not being prepared especially for important events.
Believe me, I don't want her keys or anything to do with any of this. The reality is, I will have to address it at some point due to my family being small and me living the closest. We lost a lot of family members, I'm not married and don't have any children, and there's another sister who doesn't get involved at all.
My mother doesn't have a will that I know of, and she is a gambler. She owns her own home and I know she has more liabilities than assets. While my affairs aren't in perfect order yet, it is pretty good and I don't want to being affected by hers while I'm getting mines more tighter. Yet, let me try to talk to her about the "what ifs" and she'll go off.
So between my narcissistic mother and this severely narcissistic sister of mine, it's too much but feels like the timing is off to 100%, completely step away yet.
Trying to prepare myself, at least legally, but don't know where to start because it seems like there is still a void when it comes to these type of family issues.
I have researched for answers about what I'd have to deal with in case my mother can no longer take care of herself--even grandma who goes right along with them and won't work together with me either. Trust that all I've done was given to them, but they listen to the troublemaker sister instead who needs help herself.
I am about healing from growing up in this family and enjoying my life now. Not having it with them, but worried about being pulled back in...(cont.)