My mom has had dementia for about 5 years now. The last couple months she doesn't want to wear undies. She has to. She has medicine she has to put on down there. She doesn't wipe great either anymore. She keeps taking her undies off then putting her pants back on. Her pants are gross on the inside. She also wears the same pants over and over. Also she lives at assisted living place where she is in independent living situation. She is at a stage where she can act totally normal and do almost everything still but can't remember to do things. Has to be told to.
My DH aunt stopped wearing shoes when her toileting got to be too much trouble to her. I noticed she was only wearing socks but didn’t think too much about it.
After many accidents I suppose it was just too much trouble to deal with taking her shoes off to change and then putting them back on. She always wore sneakers. Plus her undies were disappearing. I finally realized she needed to be in pull-ups and needed help with toileting. Instead of not wiping great, she was using rolls and rolls of TP. Clogged toilets, plumbing bills etc.
Sadly, it’s part of dementia.
As you say: 'she has medicine she has to put on down there..."
She needs 24/7 care.
You do the best you can.
Or the aides in a facility do the best they can.
My friend 'itched' (anxiety, nerves) and shredded his disposable underwear.
* Try diverting her attention although as soon as she is alone, she will exhibit this behavior.
You cannot expect a person with dementia to be able to manage these needs. Of course she can't remember ...
You need to educate yourself on what dementia is.
Watch You Tubes (Teepa Snow), buy a book, listen to webinars.
It is perplexing to me to understanding how your mother has had dementia for around five years and you do not understand what it means - in terms of her brain functioning and behavior.
She will continue to do what people with dementia do.
And, as I mentioned, she may itch, have anxiety, and need medication management.
You need to consult with her MD and hire an ind medical social worker to work with you - on how to best serve your mother's needs.
Gena / Touch Matters
Your mom needs to be in memory care as failure to deal with toileting issues properly can lead to other problems.
her condition sounds beyond her ability to care for herself now
I just donated to a dementia day care center a lot of hardly used jumpsuits that prevent the care recipient from disrobing. They look like normal outfits from the front but they slip on and zip up the back so the wearer always needs assistance to go to the bathroom or change.
Try Buck and Buck, or Silverts.
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