My mom is still a smart, manipulative yet charming person. She’s in her late 70’s and has numerous medical issues but not life threatening as in cancer, etc. She has a history of alcohol and pill addiction. 2 yrs ago her son and grandson were killed in a plane crash. (my brother and nephew). 3 months later her best friend died of cancer. Since then she has completely spiraled out of control leaving my brother (who’s son and brother was in that plane) and myself to pick up her pieces. After numerous visits to emergency rooms she decided to move into an assisted living facility. Since then she has completely withdrawn from life. She was a vibrant, loving, nurturing, busy body who loved to shop and garden and was heavily involved in her church. Now we are left with a hermit who won’t eat, take her meds, won’t except visitors and is a total recluse. She has never dealt with her grief and claims she has nothing to live for. Death is next according to her.
Her latest incident ended her up here up in a nursing home for over a month and now she is back home at assisted living and we have made the home in charge of her meds. That was one of the issues we were having was that her meds were getting all messed up. I’m not sure why? There is only 8 PAGES OF THEM! Different discussion on a different day.
She is pissed of course because she doesn’t have that control anymore. Side note- remember we are dealing with an addict and while she was in nursing home I found secret stashes of pills everywhere. They were prescribed. But she hoards them. Then when she doesn’t want to feel anything anymore that’s her escape.
So fast forward-she says nothing will ever make her stop feeling the pain of her loss, that she has no real reason to live, she is just existing. She has no desire to find relationship or form new ones. She’s given up.
How do I help her?
How do I help my brother who is also still grieving?
How do u process the fact that the mom you once had is gone ?