How to help mom adjust?

Nothing works when dementia is at play. If your mother is like mine, changing the subject won't work and neither will distraction, for more than 5 minutes. Then she'll be back to wanting to know why she's there and can't go home etc. Like a dog with a bone, relentlessly asking, nothing will deter her. What I did was I'd sympathize with my mother, whatever her issue of the moment was. If she wanted to go home, or die, or move back to her apartment....whatever it was she wanted but couldn't do, I told her I understood. I sympathized with her, I didn't blame her...I agreed with her, even. There was just nothing I could do for her, sorry mom. I commisserated with her, we'd both wring our hands over the situation and then move on. I think that's more of what they need and want than anything. Pretending their feelings aren't real doesn't work. Changing the subject doesn't work for long. Not visiting them begs them calling us with the same question bc the question needs to be answered or addressed, even if it's 1000x. Acknowledging their pain goes further than ignoring it or dismissing it. Yes mom, I know you're upset and I am too. This is just how things have to be for now so let's make the best of it and have ice cream. Yes, it sucks but it's doctors orders. I agree you'd be happier at home and I'm so sorry you can't go back there mom.

Advanced old age and dementia and illness really stink, there's no doubt about it. Sympathize with mom over her situation and after you share a few tears, share a nice slice of pie with ice cream. That's all you can really do. Then rinse and repeat the next time the questions come up. I went thru it for nearly 3 years with my mother so I know the routine. Don't argue, just sympathize with her, give her a kiss and a hug and let her know you love her.

Stop explaining, sadly, she’s lost the ability to comprehend the situation and her care needs. You’ll have to continually change the subject, which can be exhausting but it’s less tiring than arguing. She’s blessed to have your visits, try to keep them positive (and yes, my mom was in a NH, I know how hard that is) I used to tell my mom jokes or discuss anything light at all, anything to help the mood in what I knew was a sad place for her

This is the way she is now. It will continue and there’s nothing you can do but change your approach. That means taking care of yourself. If you went to see her less often, that would help. Leaving as soon as she starts her usual litany is acceptable. It’s sad, but she’s lost her ability to adjust to anything.

You cannot reason with her. She does not understand that she needs care. In her mind she is capable. This is part of Dementia. Try to ignore it. Change the subject. Tell her u will check with the doctor.