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Personality is changing. Accused DIL of poisoning her after she threw up. Called the police. Living w/ son and DIL. Hates doctors. What can be done?

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She still should have an evaluation done to assess for a GI bleed. If she refuses there’s not much you can do about it however.
I would work on getting her POA assigned to someone of her choice.
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Reply to Shane1124
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Who called you to alert of vomiting blood? MIL herself or the other relatives?

Could be real, could be delusions but either way nothing you can do from 2000 miles away.

Since MIL lives with Son/DIL, talk to them direct next time. They can call EMS.
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Reply to Beatty
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She is no longer vomiting blood. Not even sure if it was blood in her vomit, or vomiting blood. My husband had a good talk with her Sat. eve. by phone and she was fine. Will try these suggestions mentioned here. No one had POA, because her sons never needed to get it. She is very forgetful, but takes care of herself & her dog, except for meals. This is her 2nd major delusion.
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Reply to Lovestoread
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Tothill Jun 9, 2020
Everyone should have someone assigned to be their POA. I am 54 in good health, I have my POA documents ready to go if and when needed.

If you wait until they are needed it often is too late, then a family is looking at the incredibly expensive option of guardianship.

POA documents should be part of every persons paperwork and they should be reviewed as often as the Will.
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Most EMTs can be VERY persuasive with elderly ladies. Stand back and let them do their jobs. She may have a UTI which can cause psychiatric symptoms.

If she refuses, you have a record that you tried and didn't neglect her condition.

Additionally, if she refuses, you call a local hospice organization to send out a team to evaluate her. If she doesn't want treatment any longer, that is her right, but there is no need for her to die painfully.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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Lovestoread Jun 8, 2020
She lives in WA. We live 2000 miles away. She is living with her son, and Daughter in law. My husband (her other son) called Sat. eve. and she was fine. Said she wasn't sick. We're mystified, and will keep checking in with her or my BIL. She is more stubborn than anyone you probably have ever met. She would refuse the hospice team entrance into her room. She'll have to get worse. She was not throwing up blood when the police were there. She had another persistent delusion about another ex-DIL and she wouldn't let go of it.
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With Dementia she is not competent to make the call. You need to get her to the ER.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Lovestoread Jun 8, 2020
She is fine now- as of Sat. pm. Says she wasn't sick. At 91, takes care of herself except for meals. Very into alternative health and detests doctors.

She doesn't live with us or near us. She lives with her other son, and SIL.

Thanks- I know you're right. But from what I've read if she refuses, the EMT's can't take her.

If she is sick, and it wasn't just blood in her vomit from irritation-she'll get worse, and God willing will accept care. A Wonderful former teacher and great mother in law.-just so stubborn. During the daytime she is stubborn. After 6 she is happy. No one knows why.
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If she is vomiting blood, you call 911. If she called the police, and they saw she was vomiting blood, they should have called 911. don't wait,, do it! I hope you have some sort of POA as she is 91 with dementia, but even if you don't.. call 911
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Reply to pamzimmrrt
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Lovestoread Jun 9, 2020
Talked to her myself yesterday. She sounded great. Happy to hear from me. Very coherent. Doing fine. Go figure. We're looking for respite care for my BIL. She takes complete care of herself, and her dog. Just likes having meals made for her now.
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