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Mum: since stroke 2018 now getting more aggitated, having tantrums, anxiety++.


Dad: getting more worn out, giving in to the tantrums, having trouble saying no. Even if says no often backs down from guilt (calls it 'comprimising').


Have suggested review with Doctor (time for meds!) or see Psychologist for strategies to help with this behaviour. No SHE doesn't want to. Arrghh!

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Try asking your dad if, years ago, when Mom was “present” in her life and healthy mentally and physically, what she would think if she could see herself now. Would she want to be putting her husband through this and be the cause of his sadness and stress? Or, would she want him to explore all avenues for help in making his life easier. I know he is having a hard time accepting this new reality, but he needs to. All of us who have suffered with a loved one who has dementia have gone through this “ostrich head-in-the-sand” phase. It just prolongs the inevitable.

Sending you many supportive thoughts and understanding.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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Beatty, if Dad won't come, do the contact yourself and explain to the doctor how Dad feels. It should be understandable. Best wishes.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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The usual method is to get mother to the doctor for some sort of check up, and word up the doctor in advance about what you are actually hoping for. Worth a thought?
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Beatty May 11, 2019
Yes, thankyou.

Have suggested previously that Dad & I sneak off to Dr's on his afternoon off (carer comes to sit with Mum). Will suggest again...& repeat.

He was reluctant to go without her. Feels like he would be betraying her (he said).

Sigh... I will try again & keep explaining it is to help BOTH of them.
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