My mother has several health issues, dealing with circulation, diabetes, etc. The result is, she has a lot of difficulty doing everyday tasks. My siblings and I have been helping from a distance, but her issues have worsened. We feel that the best course of action is to move both of our parents into a home with my siblings and myself. We will all work, except my mother, so money shouldn't be an issue. We all understand that it will be hard work, but we'll be together, and we're good at coming together and solving problems as a family.
The biggest issue actually comes from outside of my family. I've been with my girlfriend for about five years now. We originally met in the city here, attending the same college, but she moved for work, while I stayed here for a pretty good job. We've been long distance for two years now, and it is a really great relationship. We've always planned to move in together, and it's what we both want, but she's always been a little pushy about it, trying to set deadlines and always bringing it up. My mother's issues have recently worsened, which is why we are are all purchasing this house together.
It's safe to say that this is worst shape our relationship has been in. She says she understands that I want to help my mother and spend time with her, but her actions speak different. Instead of being supportive she is always asking for timelines that I can't give, or trying to come up with "solutions" that benefit her, but won't work for our family (move somewhere with her, I could send my family money and visit, etc.)
I think her two biggest issues is that she's not my "priority" (I hate when she says that) and that there is no timeline I can give her, which leaves her "aimless". I really dislike when she boils all of this down to "picking my family over her" which is not true at all. I get that it's frustrating that I can't give her a solid timeline, but it's not like I'll know what my mother's condition will be like in the future. I've told her that if she gets better or stays the same, I'd be more open to moving, but obviously if she gets worse that's off the table.
I guess I'm just looking for some advice from a community like this, full of people that have been there, done that, so to speak. I just wish my girlfriend could be more understanding, and I really don't know where to go from here.