I am the caregiver to my elderly mother and have been for a long time. She has health issues (though not dementia) and sees all her doctors regularly and they manage her. She has always been a very negative person and has been actively dying from the time I was a little kid. Yet had very little compassion at any time in my life when I was sick from something. In fact, she resented such ailments that kids get like a cold or whatnot and would be vicious and resentful if I needed care or needed to see the doctor.
I very rarely get to enjoy any kind of social and recreational activity outside of the house (we live together). It sure seems like any time I'm looking forward to doing something and getting out for a day she develops some health crisis or another that either causes me to miss out entirely, or ruins it for me because I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. Either I can miss out entirely, or have everyone chastise me for going and leaving her behind. I have been looking forward to going somewhere tomorrow for the day. These plans have been made for nearly two weeks. The new health crisis started around that time. Yet, it was put on hold for her own birthday where she was fine and enjoyed the day. She saw one of her doctors yesterday about it and he doesn't think it's anything serious and thinks there's no need to sit up in the ER for a whole day. How do I handle this kind of situation? I need some advice. It's hard to know what's real and in need of medical care and what's just an act to get attention or if it's spite. Need advice. I rely on the people in this group because there's no one else who understands these kinds of situations unless they've lived it themselves.