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My mother has beginning stages of dementia and lives with my dad. She has been obsessively brushing her teeth all night long into the morning and sometimes doesn’t even sleep until the following day. It has been going on for about 6 mths. At first my mom would complain her teeth and gums hurt and we brought her to the dentist but there was nothing wrong. My dad would buy endless amount of toothpaste as she uses up easily 2-3 tubes in a night. My dad has tried to turn off the water or ask her to go to sleep but she gets angry and aggressive so he just leaves her alone. Once she gets angry it escalates and she can get very aggressive and sometimes violent. My dad is miserable as he doesn’t get any sleep when she does her obsessive brushing. We made an appt to see a psychiatrist for possible medication to help calm her at night but she literally ran away and refused to see the doctor. My dad and I both have POA and health care proxy over her. Can we see the doctor without her to get her the medication that she needs? We also brought her to get tested for UTI since sometimes a UTI can cause manic behavior with dementia, but the test was negative. Any advice or suggestions?

Take away the toothpaste and toothbrush after dental hygiene has been completed. Don't give her the toothpaste at all, but place a dollop on the toothbrush and hand it to her. Take the toothbrush afterwards. Try redirecting maybe offering a snack afterwards.

Sounds like it's time for calming medications.
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Reply to Scampie1
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Mom shouldn’t have access to any toothpaste or toothbrushes at all. They come out only twice a day, given to her, and then disappear again. She’s far past beginning stages of dementia. A psychiatrist is not the appropriate doctor for calming medication, which she desperately needs. The doctor who diagnosed her and handles her regular care can prescribe this. Consider the cost to your dad’s health in him getting no rest and coping with aggressive, sometimes violent behaviors. Perhaps it’s time for in home helpers to give him a break or mom to move into managed care
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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My dad had dementia including really bad insomnia and crazy, obsessive behaviors that he would do for many hours at a time. His did not include toothbrushing but it did include picking his face for hours creating awful sores, and many dangerous and destructive things around the house and property especially in the middle of the night, like disconnecting the water pipes, prying the thermostat off the wall, digging holes all over the yard, and climbing on the roof in the dark and hurting himself. Or vacuuming one tiny rug for 8 hours straight, many days in a row. He would also get angry and belligerent if my mom tried to stop him or he did not get his way. The only thing that curbed either the insomnia or the obsessions in his case was Seroquel plus Trazodone, but it took a while to find the right combination for him. These meds did not eliminate the behaviors but it did calm him down and lessen them a fair amount. And he got prescribed higher doses of seroquel over time.

In his case, he wanted relief from insomnia so we told him the pills were for that and so he accepted them. He never knew or cared that in fact my mom and I were equally or more interested in addressing the dangerous, obsessive behaviors.

Tell her anything (white lies, ultimatums) that will get her to see the dr and also to take the pills. Be aware that fixations can change. She could lessen the toothbrushing but seize onto something else. It’s horrible. Good luck.
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Reply to Suzy23
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Your mother is well beyond the "beginning stages" of dementia to be exhibiting this type of extreme OCD behavior. It has to stop immediately, before she destroys her gums and dad's health from lack of sleep!

Call her primary care doctor, or whomever is treating her for dementia, and explain this behavior. Mom needs calming meds right away and it doesn't have to be a psychiatrist who prescribes them. You can tell her Medicare now requires she see her doctor in person once a year in order to keep her coverage intact.

Then I'd lock the bathroom door at night to prevent her from this compulsive tooth brushing. If she gets angry and violent, dad calls 911 and has her transported to the hospital for a psych evaluation. She can be medicated there.

Good luck to you.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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you could try not supplying the fun tasty paste..
give her a little baking soda.
Mom, try using this to get your teeth clean... just wet the brush. And put a 1/8 teaspoon or smaller dollop in the palm of your hand, snd brush your teeth!
Your teeth will feel very clean ..
try this for awhile.. maybe that'll help.

GOOD OLE ARM & HAMMER
They too have toothpaste, but just use the baking soda. It's not as convenient..

if dad decides to buy toothpaste in bulk, keep it in the trunk of his car..or buy travel sizes..

is she still driving? 😬

Are their legal papers in order? Living trust, POA, etc?
Seroquel for sundowners?
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Reply to MAYDAY
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