I recently have been given the task of caring for my 90 old grandmother. We have always gotten along so well, so when my mother asked me if I would stay with her while she and my father go back to their hometown for a month or so for a cancer check up I didn't hesitate to help out. I knew that she was getting bad but I had know idea of how horrible this was going to be.
First off let me say that I am newly married and my grandmother lives about an hour and a half away from our house in a quaint little area we'll call the Village. The closest civilization is about 30 minutes away and there is no one around to talk to that is remotely close to my age. Just my parent's dog. I have to wait for Friday (which my husband dreads) for him to come out here and he leaves on Sunday. I cry all the time not only because I miss him but I miss conversation. I am a outgoing person who recently was laid off and this is the only way I could be out here for such an amount of time. I had to put off looking for a job because I didn't want to apply for a position only not to know when I will be able to start.
This is the start of my day for the past few weeks, get up make coffee and get the paper for her. She will grunt at me and snatch the paper out of my hand. She will make her own breakfast and then off to the tv for all of the daytime women's talk shows, these shows drive me batty, and she is hard of hearing so they are turned up as loud as the tv will go. The sound of a bunch of women screeching at each other talking about what celebrity did what is enough to make me blow my brains out. Then there is lunch, I try to make her leftovers of whatever I had for dinner the night before (most of the time I will set it out on the table) and she will not eat it. She just wants peanut butter and bread, reason for this is she doesn't want to pay for the groceries. However, when we are out of bread or coffee guess who pays for it. Not her. My husband and I can't afford to buy food for each of us so he is eating frozen food and take out. Not to mention the gas we are spending to get from to and fro. As the day progresses I will be called names, cussed at, and demeanored for trying to help her. I have been told numerous times that I am mean to her, which I have NEVER been. After the five o'clock news, she is in bed and my new best friend, Mr. W Turkey, will commence to to chat and play on line bingo.
I have tried being nice, cursing back, leaving the room, and taking the dog for very long walks and nothing seems to be right between us. What am I doing wrong?? This really wasn't supposed to be a question, just a place to rant as I haven't spoken to a person yet today, not one word as I am afraid that if I talk to her it will not end up well. She will not talk to me unless it is something ugly but now after going back and reading this a whole new world of questions have come up that I just don't know what to do...how do I get her to eat? how can I make her see that I am not the hateful one? how do I let her know that I am doing this because I love her and that my new marriage is starting to crumble because I resent that my husband has a life? and most of all how do I keep my sanity?