My FIL has always leaned toward conspiracy theories but, when MIL was alive, he didn't dwell on it much. Over the last 4-5 months, he's been almost exclusively focused on news stations that seem kind of "out there". He's even given up The Price Is Right to watch these other stations (and that's saying something...) Up until a little while ago, political discussions were avoided because the family runs a range of views and it was the best way to avoid arguments. Everyone seemed respectful of each other which was great. That has changed now with FIL bringing up how we should be watching the "real news" so we would know what's actually going on in our country. My husband and I are more middle of the road and interested in other viewpoints so we checked out a couple of the stations. I had to turn it off because I felt the reporting was too inflammatory. I thought I was the only one noticing this change in FIL but, recently, learned that wasn't the case. This is a family who always seemed respectful of differing opinions but I see that disappearing as well.
Questionable decisions include not wearing a mask in public even though he won't get vaccinated. He also wants to give blood when he's taking a medication that precludes him from doing that and saying that he just won't tell them about the meds. The whole mask thing makes me cringe as I always thought he had the best interests of others in mind.
He is 93 and in good health. He lives alone now and does not have any typical signs of dementia. In my mind, he's always been rock solid but now I'm not so sure.
Has anyone else had experience with this type of change? How did you handle it?
When he brings up politics, tell him you don't discuss them.
As to not getting vaccine, and not wearing a mask? Darwinian, isn't it? I think so and it always delights me, frankly. I have very little sympathy for a citizen of the USA with our ability to get vaccine, who chooses not to get it. Just see to it that YOU are vaccinated, and do mask up in his presence, as you still CAN get covid-19; it is just unlikely you will be symptomatic with it, and almost impossible to die of it if you are vaccinated.
There are many who are like your Father. The one thing that indicates that he may have some dementia is his inclination to lie about his meds when giving blood. If you find a way to forewarn the blood bank about him, do so. In general blood is tested in ways to rule out blood thinner presence and so on, but I am not certain all things can be tested for.
If these are all changes you could be seeing the beginnings of dementia. A recent NYT article from the business section told of how we may lose "executive function (poor decision making) as many as 6 years before we are actually diagnosed.
I would steer real clear of your FIL were he mine. Allow your husband to maintain a relationship if he wishes to. Be civil and kind; refuse political discussions. All of that is up to you. But unless he is judged incompetent, everything else is up to your FIL. I sure do wish you the best of luck moving forward, and am sorry for what you have to deal with.
So many of us (myself included) think/thought that dementia is about memory. Some dementias, Vascular Dementia in particular, affect judgement and reasoning.