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My aunt is in a N.H. for rehab after hip surgery. When she requests specific items from home (like a certain perfume, piece of clothing, jewelry, etc.), sometimes I can't locate them or I bring what I think she wants.If it's the wrong thing or I am unable to find the items she gets upset with me and complains. It happens when she is home, too. She may describe "the blue and white shirt" but when I bring one, it's "I didn't want that one. I need the other blue and white shirt with the stripes". So now it's another trip upstairs to search again. Sometimes it's two or three times before I get it right. She sleeps downstairs in the living room because she can't walk upstairs yet. All of her clothes are kept in her bedroom.

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She sounds like a real fuss budget who enjoys putting you down. "Auntie, does it really matter which shirt you're wearing for therapy today? I can't make another trip right now, let's just put this one on".

Her life doesn't have to be perfect. YOURS will get better when you start standing up for yourself. Have you ever tried going to a therapist? It might help with this.
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P.S. I would think that jewelry would be discouraged at the nursing home/rehab. However, I think if I were you and couldn't find what she wanted, I'd just tell her that. And then when she starts in on you, tell her you've got stuff to do and you're leaving. Maybe she's got a higher level of anxiety while she's recuperating.
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For the time being, can you bring her clothes downstairs? Wouldn't that make things a little easier for both of you? You can buy inexpensive, freestanding clothes racks. I bought one at Aldi (grocery store) that I know I didn't pay over 20.00 for. I have seen some in catalogs intended for holding drip dry clothing or ironing. Just a thought.
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Sounds like anxiety, which would be expected. Try asking the MD for an anxiolytic medication.
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