My father is 90 and has a terribly impatient nature. He really does not need to be behind the wheel of a car anymore. He is not willing to stop driving on his own. What are our resources?
Good luck convincing your Dad to stop driving.... it's like taking away their independence, they want to hang onto that for as long as they can. When you remove something from an elder, you need to replace it with something else.
If you volunteer to drive him anywhere he wants, set boundaries from day one, or you will be driving all over hill and dale. My parents wanted to get out of their house 2 to 3 times PER DAY... Mom to go to 3 different grocery stores to buy 3 or 4 items each store. I didn't set boundaries until the 5th year of doing all that... it wasn't easy.
In North Carolina go to ncdot.gov and download the "Request for Re-Examination." Let the department of transportation do the rest. If he passes the re-exam he can drive. That way it is out of your hands. Being impatient is not reason for denial of privileges.
There are several approaches. You know your dad best, so you have to determine what path to take. Don't be afraid to get creative. Safety is the goal here.
My mother's dementia was too severe for her to drive safely, but she refused to admit it. Her vision was shot and so was her judgment. She did not care if she killed a car load of babies.
I had my mother's doctor fill out the form to get a handicapped placard. He checked the box that said applicant is no longer allowed to drive. (THANK YOU!) When we took it to the DMV, they also replaced a driving license with just a state ID with her picture on it. She did not believe me or the DMV lady that it was not a driving license.
You can let the doctor know ahead of time what your concerns are and find out if they can help you out this way. Do a little vision test in the office and find that his vision isn't good enough anymore. The doctor can then notify the DMV.
We tried to "trade in" mom's car and gosh, the Buick dealership wouldn't give us a $1 for it. For some reason, it just had too many problems and was dangerous to drive. Wink wink. So we donated it and took that off her taxes the next year! Hearing that from a "real mechanic" made a difference in her mind...finally.
At this time period mom moved into a senior facility that had a shuttle to everything and everywhere. It was $1 to use. There was absolutely no need to drive anymore, and it actually provided more access to more places than she would have had otherwise. She wouldn't take the shuttle, but that was due to other emerging decline.
Good luck convincing your Dad to stop driving.... it's like taking away their independence, they want to hang onto that for as long as they can. When you remove something from an elder, you need to replace it with something else.
If you volunteer to drive him anywhere he wants, set boundaries from day one, or you will be driving all over hill and dale. My parents wanted to get out of their house 2 to 3 times PER DAY... Mom to go to 3 different grocery stores to buy 3 or 4 items each store. I didn't set boundaries until the 5th year of doing all that... it wasn't easy.
My mother's dementia was too severe for her to drive safely, but she refused to admit it. Her vision was shot and so was her judgment. She did not care if she killed a car load of babies.
I had my mother's doctor fill out the form to get a handicapped placard. He checked the box that said applicant is no longer allowed to drive. (THANK YOU!) When we took it to the DMV, they also replaced a driving license with just a state ID with her picture on it. She did not believe me or the DMV lady that it was not a driving license.
You can let the doctor know ahead of time what your concerns are and find out if they can help you out this way. Do a little vision test in the office and find that his vision isn't good enough anymore. The doctor can then notify the DMV.
We tried to "trade in" mom's car and gosh, the Buick dealership wouldn't give us a $1 for it. For some reason, it just had too many problems and was dangerous to drive. Wink wink. So we donated it and took that off her taxes the next year! Hearing that from a "real mechanic" made a difference in her mind...finally.
At this time period mom moved into a senior facility that had a shuttle to everything and everywhere. It was $1 to use. There was absolutely no need to drive anymore, and it actually provided more access to more places than she would have had otherwise. She wouldn't take the shuttle, but that was due to other emerging decline.