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He doesn't shower nor shave for weeks on end. He also doesn't cut his finger nails nor his toe nails to a point that he scratches himself and sometimes bleeds from too much scratching. I live with him because I moved back home last year (from abroad) to help both my mom and him but very sadly my mom passed away in the midst of my move. So I'm stuck with him. I never got along with him and now I see how childish he is and how scared he is of me dying as well (I lost my brother two and a half year ago). So yes lots of emotional and draining events.


I've learned a bit to let go and I do of many things but it drives me crazy when I smell his bad odor all the time.


I know I'm supposed to move out and let him be and I'm working on finding a job. In the meantime, I "command" him to go and take a shower which I find so belittling and rude to do but it's one of the few times that he does.


Shall I continue this way or is there a better way to do this? Oh by the way, logical conversations are an absolute No-Go. :-(

If your community has a visiting nurses association, they may provide foot care. In my community it is determined by income. Some people make a small donation. Those who have the financial means pay $5.00. One can also receive some types of home health care through visiting nurses, such as wound care or post surgical dressing changes.

in some towns in Maine there are monthly foot care clinics held at the town hall. They provide free care for diabetics and nominal fees to others.
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Freqflyer is absolutely right. Taking a shower IS like “going to the gym” for us. And after I shower, I usually have to give Hubby a bed bath. I’m scared that if I fall in the shower I could lay there. Hubby has no access to a phone to call 911.

Dad may also not want you (are you female?) to give him a shower or bath. Can you check with his doctor or Medicare to see if he would qualify for a male bath aide a few times a week? There are also podiatrists who make house calls.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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Blessedone, when it comes to taking showers, sometimes as we age we find just taking a shower is like going to the gym, it is exhausting. I do that myself, put it off until the next day, then the day later.

There is also the fear of falling as there are no soft places to land in a shower. Depending on your Dad's age, if he is much older his skin probably has thinned, so the water from the shower head could be a tad painful on the skin.

Toe nails and finger nails become hard to cut as we age. Soaking nails prior to cutting helps a great deal once we figure out how to reach our foot. The older we get, the harder it is to cut our toe nails. I found sitting on a step helps me. I am not one to go to a nail salon because I just can't stand the smell of nail polish.
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