O.k., key points here. 1) Cat has NO teeth and CANNOT eat dry food - so automatic feeder is not an option. Has to be wet food.2) Cat is 20 years old and is pretty much the only thing that is now keeping her with us or dropping off the deep end so getting rid of cat is not an option either.3) Mom lives in Assisted Living but the cost to have them care for cat is CRAZY expensive and trust will not allow us to pay that.4) Example of how much is being fed, Mom just received 96 servings of cat food 9 days ago. She is COMPLETELY OUT. Insists that the cat only is fed 3 times a day. Obviously not happening.
I need to think of some sort of system that will help her keep track of how much she has fed her cat in a day. Problem is I don't know if she will follow it because I don't think she will remember to. What can "I" do to help the situation? I am not able to be the sole person to feed the cat and she will just go find food and start feeding him, then we have to repay the people she takes food from.
Put a camera in the room to see if the cat is actually eating the food, mom is eating the food or mom is throwing it away or “giving” it away.
If the cat eats 3 packs a day the food should last a month.
Does mom open the serving packs or someone else?
If you observe for a day or two you should know what is going on.
Are you sure mom isn't eating the cat food? It has been known to happen.
Limit how many cans of cat food she has on hand. Is someone able to drop by every day with say, 3 cans? Or, as Grandma1954 suggests, a week's worth, labeled for each day.
Will a cat stop eating when it's had too much? I don't really know. I've never over-fed a cat. I agree with some of the suggestions here that maybe the cat isn't eating what is offered (maybe because the cat is already full?) and so mom is tossing it out and opening a new can.
It's concerning, but I wouldn't spend a lot of energy trying to resolve this. Let her over feed the cat. I wouldn't leave more than a week's worth of cat food with her, because it's going to waste, and I wouldn't want to keep buying massive amounts of cat food and wondering what's happening to it.
If you have any access to it can you leave only what is needed for a week.
Leave it out with the days marked on it almost like a pill minder.
If this will not work, and it sounds like that from your post the other option is to just continue to let mom over feed the cat and continue to buy cat food.
To take the cat away will greatly effect both the cat and your mom. And rehoming a cat of that age is almost impossible.
It is possible that there are other things going on that might indicate that mom should be in Memory Care and not Assisted Living.
And at 20 there are worse ways for a cat to go.
Mom is 96 and her trust won't allow her to have her cat fed?
What a dreadful trust, quite honestly, given you just said that the cat is the only thing keeping her here.
Really, at 96 neither your mom nor her 20 year old cat have a whole lot of time left, if we are truly bluntly and unpleasantly honest here. Wouldn't you say.
Take her a ton of those easy open Fancy Feasts--all cats love them--and they are a meal in a can. She can open it herself more easily than getting out the dried food, and the cat can eat itself to death or not. If that isn't an option, then let her feed the cat the smallest kibble. Then he will drink and it will further soften.
But back to this TRUST???
Never truly heard of such a thing. In all my life. But there you are.
Good luck. Where there is a will there is a way, and easy open Fancy Feast would be my first choice here.
Best of luck. I don't really care if the cat overeats, or if Mom does, likewise. They have both had great lives. I just hope she doesn't have to fact down a grief, but they are kind of neck and neck with the aging process.
I also wonder who is taking care of the litter box , making sure food bowl is washed . Clean water .,
IMO , if you are able to take the cat home I would . Or rehome it .
By me the cat shelter will pay for food , litter , vet etc for people to foster old cats . Perhaps see if your local shelter has that program .
I don’t think Mom should be responsible for the cat any longer . It’s not fair to the cat . Your mother will never recognize if the cat is ill or in pain . It’s not always easy to tell if a cat is in pain to begin with . Take the cat to the vet and don’t bring it back to Mom . Tell Mom the cat needs to stay at the cat hospital.
Dementia patients can’t really take care of animals, but at 20 that cat itself has a life limiting diagnosis regardless of what your mom feeds it. The cat is extremely old and mom is probably opening multiple tins of food to get it to eat more.