How to get mom to bathe and help take care of herself?

You don’t need an illness to lose your sense of smell for something you smell for long periods of time. It’s common, particularly between people in ethnic groups who don’t wash. Thirty years ago I did the books in a factory that made leather clothing, and now I still can’t smell leather – and I once loved the smell. If your mother lives with her own smell all the time, she almost certainly can’t smell it.

Click on ‘Care Topics’ at the top right of the screen. You will get an alphabetic list of topics. Try ‘bathing’ and ‘hygiene’. There are many articles and discussions, and hundreds of questions where the problems and answers may help. You may find other topics that will help, too. Best wishes and good luck.

I suggest a medical review.

UTIs are well known to change behaviour & increase frequency & incontinence.

Sense of smell can reduce as people age. Also can be pride. Or memory problems (forgetting the sequence of steps involved to undress, wash, dry, dress again in order. Mush easier to skip).

Two of my relatives refuse to change if wet, even if smell & wet/dirty clothing is obvious to others. Embarrassment? Won't admit an accident? Can't manage clothing but too proud to accept help?

Don't ask "do you want to see the Doctor?" Make the appointment. Drive to the shops, then to Doctors. (Many won't make a scene in public if already in the carpark). Or say the Doctor needs to see her to review prescriptions (therapeutic fib).

I got my relo there for prescriptions but then mentioned the poor diet, lack of self-care/bathing, incontinence, frequent falls. Called Tough Love. It may not have been want my relo wanted... but it was NEEDED.

Have you considered dementia? I believe one of the symptoms is loss of smell, and her behavior is also symptomatic, especially not bathing. If she won't go to a doctor, who could possibly assess her? Perhaps she would tolerate a visit from Adult Protective Services (APS) if they come for a visit, but she doesn't know why.