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Mom is getting intent to foreclose notices, banking is a hot mess, no money, she does not understand. She is pending neuropsych testing for formal diagnosis but she is obviously suffering with dementia. Her house is in poor repair, everything on its last leg with some hoarding. My head injured brother also lives with her and has hoarded his room and a shed in the yard. She can not afford her mortgage and heloc having gone through everything. She also has over 10K in cc debt, maybe more.


So the house needs to be sold ASAP and my realtor says she really needs the house unoccupied for a quick sale. She feels it would be very distressing to my mom (realtor was a RN for many years so sees it from that perspective as well).


So my question is is there anything her doctor could do to place her temporarily so I can do what needs to be done? Doctor is doing a home visit tomorrow and I'm wanting to discuss the situation with her but hoping for some first hand experiences here.


I do not have POA as she has NO money to hire an Elder attorney. She very much wants me to have POA so its just a matter of finding a free resource to help get it done. I live 500 miles away in another state and need to get back soon for my monthly chemo infusion.

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Thats just it Riverdale, the market here is insane (East Bay). I just don't know how to get it on the market with her and my brother in it. Guess I was hoping to hear some first hand experiences regarding a temporary placement for mom. Brother will have to be evicted I'm sure.
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Riverdale Mar 28, 2019
If you could call one of those companies that haul away junk that would deal with stuff. Does she have insurance that would cover any stay? Are there any competant friends etc. who could help. Basically you need stuff out of house and a place for her to stay short time at least. Maybe your brother goes to a Y or shelter to start. Her house proceeds could hopefully help. Lots here have info on agencies with aging. Maybe pose another question specifically on that.
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She would net a couple hundred thousand or possible more if the realtor is correct on market value. She lives in the SF Bay area. I am a joint owner of her bank account but nothing else.
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Riverdale Mar 28, 2019
My daughter and son in law live in SF. They are about to put their house on the market as they had a baby and want another one. That area is generally very hot real estate wise. Because she is in this area it may be worth selling although I understand how difficult it might be from the situations you posted. Can you get an idea of the worth from the realtor? It doesn't sound as though you could temporarily relocate. I feel for you. If it were a different part of the country it might be best to walk away. If you want to PM me I might be able to advise more as my daughter knows the area very well. They are moving to Utah but before they made that decision they looked at alot of real estate as they did before they bought where they are and will move from. They bought as an estate sale and they won out over 29 offers by writing a heartfelt letter to the niece of the man who had lived in the house since about 1962. And the house was not at all cheap. Worth more that the 4 bedroom on an acre I am trying to sell in NY.
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I agree with janerides.....let it go. You are not responsible. Contact the agencies mentioned and walk away from it. POA can also be for financial which I would not recommend. Stick to medical only....she has no assets.
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Does the house have any value? beyond the mortgage? If not, let it go back, the foreclosure will dictate how it goes from there...she will probably go on Medicaid and be placed in a care home. The hoarding HI brother may follow due to the circumstance. Contact the Department on Aging, they can give you guidance here. You don't need to involve your personal finances. POA for medical decisions only.
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