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My mom is someone who doesn't like to be a bother and will not ask for help. For example, her TV remote stopped working. Rather than ask someone to help with it, she will watch the same channel for days. Or her hand lotion is out of reach, so she will go without, or her phone needs charging but she can't do it. When I visit, she complains about all kinds of simple issues like these that should be no problem. I tell her it's OK to press the call button and ask for assistance, or she can ask a nurse when in the room doing something else, but she won't. It's a nice facility and they are very willing to help if she would just ask.

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My mother, who had vascular dementia, also wouldn't ask for help and then when she would, she would be distraught about it because she felt bad asking someone to do something for her. She'd apologize and sometimes even cry about it. She would also let who ever she asked know how much she appreciated it. Sometimes I think it is just the nature of the person. I have that part of her and also hate asking someone for help! I don't want to bother them and I think that was her too. I will say this, she certainly didn't mind asking me for help!! Family dynamics I guess. The bad thing, towards the end, she actually forgot she had a call button and couldn't ask for help.
I see this as just the nature of the disease. What's up is not necessarily now down, but twisted all over the place!
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Sometimes a person doesn't want an 'answer' to their problem. Then they will have to stop complaining. That's the conclusion I've drawn with my own mother who does similar things to what your mother is doing. For no good reason. Then complains bitterly to me that 'nothing is being done' for her. Because she does NOT ask. For what it's worth, I haven't been able to 'fix' this little problem for the past 5+ years my mother has been living in an ALF and now Memory Care, so I've stopped trying. If she wants something badly enough, she WILL ask, or she will go without. It's just that simple.
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emanes Jan 2020
I've wondered if it's just her way of expressing her unhappiness about her overall situation. I kind of had a feeling it would happen. When she lived in a really subpar facility, I felt bad for her because it was almost impossible to get help anyway. She would say she wanted to move (and I wanted her out of there), and after nearly a year and a half, I got her into this much nicer place. The staff are very helpful and friendly and the food is great, but she still complains about everything and everyone!
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