I've been taking care of her for almost 2 years now in my home and she's getting worse. She has MS and mental illness issues (hearing voices, paranoia, not able to care for herself). She is mostly wheelchair bound but is able to bathe herself. But that is all she can do in terms of independence. Since this not a situation where she is living in her own home, everything is in my name (lease, bills, etc). What is the best way to approach getting her into a nursing home? She's extremely combative, difficult and does not know what is best for her. I'm her only family willing to take care of her at this point. Multiple times it's been suggested that I have a home health aide come in to help, but that is not the situation I want. My mom is verbally abusive, unappreciative and I'm only 31 years old taking care of her full time. I don't want her living in my home anymore. She cannot handle living alone and any family I have refuses to help because of how angry and difficult she can be. What can I do to get her into a facility if she gets very angry and refuses? She will make a huge fuss and the facility might not want to take her against her will. I'm so worried because her condition is getting worse and she needs so much care, mental and physical.
As to how this magical hospital admission will happen, often enough it is necessary to call EMS.
Facilities such as the one that will care for your Mom are quite used to dealing with all this. The very unfortunate thing you should know going in is that the WAY they most often deal with it is drugs.
You may want now to start by a visit to her Doctor in which you inform him that you cannot mentally or physically go on caring for Mom, and ask him his advice. It is not a place likely to give you an answer, but it is a place to start.
I am so sorry for you both having to go through this. I hope you'll update us if you have time, and if you find something that works at least somewhat. There will be no magic solution here that can be filed under "good".
I'm not sure of the process. I would call an elder care attorney for advice. Call/visit a nursing home and get their input too. Start making arrangements to have her removed from your home. I would not discuss this with her until you have some answers and some plans in place. She will only be more difficult than usual, I think.
Probably also call her doctor to get her in for a complete evaluation, with them knowing in advance that you are trying to determine is she is competent to handle her own affairs. If so, maybe you can have her moved into a facility for elderly and disabled people. But I do not think this is the proper placement.