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Dad is 93, has dementia and is declining quickly because his former girlfriend stalks him and puts tremendous pressure on him to move back to her facility. What can I do?

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Sorry - could we just go back a bit?

Your father *was* living in a facility (what sort of facility?) with his "girlfriend"? - until how long ago? And then moved to independent living (really? Who is responsible for him from day to day?) in spite of his dementia, at whose behest?

This sounds like a lot of disruption for an elderly gentleman with dementia. I'm sorry that his former lady friend is stalking him and I'm sure it doesn't help, but I'd have thought the move and the dementia were likelier suspects in his decline.

How, for example, is it possible for his former girlfriend to be putting any kind of pressure on him unchallenged? Does she have unsupervised access to him?
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LHamrick, so sorry you read about your Dad's dementia and how it is declining. I see from your profile that your Dad is living in Independent Living.... does the facility also have Assisted Living/Memory Care?

I am wondering when the Staff will recommend that it is time for your Dad to move to that part of the facility. Usually Memory Care is more secure, and Dad would have a new phone number so former girlfriend won't be calling. Or is the former girlfriend in the Memory Care side of this facility?

Just a thought.
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Hi - I think I would talk to first to dad's doctor regarding his competence and his decline due to this pressure, and then depending on the outcome of that, an attorney and/or the police. A bit more detail about the stalking would help. Are her attentions clearly unwanted by him? If he is still considered competent, he can keep company with whoever he wants to. If she truly is being invasive, I would look out for his finances if he still has control of them. Is there a chance that she has dementia? Good luck with this. I am sorry your dad is declining.
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