Is your Dad doing all the caring, or are you doing some yourself? If you are, your way to change this is could be to substitute a carer for what you are doing. Perhaps temporarily while you have some ailment, are away, or are extra busy - manufacture a reason that's about you, not him. With someone else in the house doing jobs, it may lead to Dad asking for help with ‘his’ jobs. Tell the carer that it would be good if s/he could take over some things from Dad. See how that goes first – it’s easier than a “you can’t, you shouldn’t” argument.
I have family where the CareGiver understands very well they need more help.
Barriers to extra help seem to me to be; 1. Already maxxed Gov subsided hours 2. Care Recipient is against it - anxious of 'strangers' - lacks insight into needs - lacks insight that CareGiver needs regular breaks
I agree to having a chat with Dad when he is away from Mom. Does he have to be there & available 24/7? If so, this is a chat starter.
I'm assuming (from your profile info) that your Father is struggling to care for your Mom (who has Parkinsons)?
More detail would be helpful, like what areas do you see struggle? Hygiene? Meals? Home maintenance/cleanliness, etc?
You may want to acknowledge he is handling a lot, that he is appreciated and you know he's doint the best he can... but you also know it's hard and getting harder. Ask him if he could take any 2 things off his plate, what would it be? Then (if it's reasonable) do it and this will help him to get used to experiencing the relief of outside help.
Who is the DPoA for your Mom? If it is you or another family member other than your father, this person needs to start exercising their authority and make sure your Mom is getting appropriate care, regardless of what your Father thinks (the help is for *her*, not your Dad).
Irrational stubbornness can be the first inklings of cognitive impairment, so pick your battles wisely as you may not be arguing with his reason, logic and empathy any more.
Make sure the way you speak to him and what you do for him makes hiim feel supported and not bossed, as best as you are able.
Have someone take him out for a day break while someone else hangs out with your Mom. It may be easier to have this discussion when he's out of earshot of her.
Barriers to extra help seem to me to be;
1. Already maxxed Gov subsided hours
2. Care Recipient is against it
- anxious of 'strangers'
- lacks insight into needs
- lacks insight that CareGiver needs regular breaks
I agree to having a chat with Dad when he is away from Mom. Does he have to be there & available 24/7? If so, this is a chat starter.
More detail would be helpful, like what areas do you see struggle? Hygiene? Meals? Home maintenance/cleanliness, etc?
You may want to acknowledge he is handling a lot, that he is appreciated and you know he's doint the best he can... but you also know it's hard and getting harder. Ask him if he could take any 2 things off his plate, what would it be? Then (if it's reasonable) do it and this will help him to get used to experiencing the relief of outside help.
Who is the DPoA for your Mom? If it is you or another family member other than your father, this person needs to start exercising their authority and make sure your Mom is getting appropriate care, regardless of what your Father thinks (the help is for *her*, not your Dad).
Irrational stubbornness can be the first inklings of cognitive impairment, so pick your battles wisely as you may not be arguing with his reason, logic and empathy any more.
Make sure the way you speak to him and what you do for him makes hiim feel supported and not bossed, as best as you are able.
Have someone take him out for a day break while someone else hangs out with your Mom. It may be easier to have this discussion when he's out of earshot of her.