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How to explain to a 92yr old who still believes she cooks and manages the home that she needs home help. It's like her mind is in the past.


My Grandma has very poor eyesight now and it means she can no longer do her cooking. She lives in sheltered flats and is also frail and dementia is setting in. We've had issues with the cooker / stove being left on and 6 firemen callouts. Cooking was a big part of her life. She still claims that "between 6-8am her eyes are good enough for her to do all her jobs" - her bulk cooking, cleaning etc. But she hasn't done this for 2 years...my Mum brings her daily meals. She is very much Living with her mind in the past. We suggested a carer comes in twice a week to do some cooking with her (not for her, but with her) to ensure she has two days of food ready following these sessions. Unfortunately grandma doesn't realise that these would really be helpful. She is getting into a tiz about it - doesn't want them to "take over" and doesn't know why they're coming because "between 6-8am she does her jobs" - this is a well rehearsed speech of hers.


My question is, how do we go about trying to explain the situation? My mum and I read that we should not try to make her remember, and I can see that if we told her the reality she would become sad that she is 'helpless' and a 'bother to us'.


Has anyone any advice or experienced a similar situation?
Thanks,
Anna



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A similar situation in my neighborhood resulted in the building being a total loss in a fire. Both parents were hospitalized for smoke inhalation. They now live in a Nursing Home. They were lucky.
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Sometimes it helps to spin it so that they think they are helping you instead of the other way around. Would she be willing to "help" this lady learn how to cook some of her favorite recipes?
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