How to discuss with MIL in middle stage Alzheimer's that her dog is suffering and it's time to put him down. Do you tell her, involve her, or what?

Hhallen: Tell her that the veterinarian said that the dog is very ill.

You may not need to do much explaining, but if you do, just say the dog is at the vet. My mom loved her dog so much. I was afraid of how she'd respond when I had to put the poor dog down. Amazingly, she forgot all about her dog within days. Her dog had been by her side constantly for 15 years. She was devoted to her, but after 3 days she never mentioned her again. She did ask where my dad was up until her death though. He had died 10 years before her. I think she was only remembering her long ago past, so didn't remember the dog.

I have a friend with multiple serious health issues. She has a little dog that is suffering so severely from old age--her fur has fallen out in patches, her little backbone is prominent and she probably only weighs 2 lbs, if that. She is double-incontinent and cries all the time...she NEEDS to be put down, it's heartbreaking to watch this little animal suffer.

I'm not close enough to her to simply say "M, this dog is suffering so much. Please do the compassionate thing and have her put to sleep"....

This woman says this dog is the only 'thing' that loves her. And if the dog dies she's going to kill herself.

Arrgghh--I DK if she's serious about that, but that's her mindset.

Friend does not have dementia, but rather a very skewed way of looking at the world.

My mom was famous for keeping very elderly, sick pets alive long after they had lost any QOL. It was awful--seems like we always had a cat or dog in the throes of some terminal illness.

As she aged, my YB simply took matters into his own hands. He works in the healthcare field and was able to procure a small syringe of morphine and he would put the pet down in a humane and loving way. Mom would wake up to find her dog/cat had 'passed' in the night. She never knew about YB's intervention.

I think with this woman--taking the dog and having it euthanized and telling MIL the dog is living elsewhere for a bit, while you take care of HER. (That's not a lie, the dog truly IS living somewhere else!) She may ask about the dog for awhile, but I know with my MIL, she is easily diverted from one subject to another.

I know someone whose old, very sick cat passed away peacefully under its favorite bush while she was on a family trip for a week. At least that’s what her husband told her.

I would not tell her. Just take the dog to the Vet saying its sick. When she asks where the dog is, just tell her he needs to stay at the vets because he is really sick. If she continues to ask, maybe you can say he died from the sickness. Hopefully it will be out of sight out of mind thing and she will forget about the dog.

I agree to not tell her. But if she has memory issues, I would tell her the dog is "taking a break" somewhere else "for now". This is merciful, since your LO probably wouldn't remember that the dog was put down and you'd have to keep telling her because she might keep asking, and then she'd mourn all over again each time until she eventually stops asking. Dementia robs people of their abilities to use reason and logic, so she most likely wouldn't be able to "come to grips" with it herself. The goal is to keep her peaceful.

I wouldn't involve her, she is the legal owner and could cause a big stink.

Tare care of the dog and tell her after the fact that it was suffering and just passed peacefully in its sleep, maybe bring it home and bury it with her.