My husband has so many health problems—diabetis, liver cirosis, dementia, poor mobility, and on and on. I am 69, his caregiverand in reasonably good health. Right now we live in our own home, one level living and doable with the help of home health care 2 times a week. I realize that within a few years we will need to move some place where yard and house maintainance are not an issue. I dont know if we should look for a townhome, retirement community, assisted living or what? Should we buy or should we rent?

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It all comes down to money.

Looks like your husband is going to need more help than you. I would look for a nice independent living. One where you could still get help for husband. You can get ur 3 meals a day, activities, outings, transportation. An AL you may not be ready for even though he is. There may not be enough people to interact with you. Then there are independents attached to ALs. You could stay independent, husband in AL. Then visit.

I am 69, my husband 72. If I move, it will be a nice apartment. No upkeep, no mowing grass. Just pay rent and utilities. I would use the proceeds of the sale of my house to offset the cost.
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cardell Jun 2019
Thank you for your advice. I hope I am able to find a place that fits our needs
Cardell, as CountyMouse had said, it's a good thing to look ahead. Are both you and hubby on the same page? Will hubby be willing to look for a new home with you?

I know how you feel, every year it feels like my yard has doubled in size. Thank goodness I have a very reliable person that mows the lawn. And another person who comes out twice a year to clean up the landscaping. Glad both are reasonably priced. I hope they don't retire soon !!

There are lovely 55+ communities that offer a condo apartment and a lot of amenities. The HomeOwner Association fee can be expensive, so be prepared for sticker shock. Look for a community that offers different level of care when the time comes.

My Dad had moved into Independent Living apartment at a senior facility, nice size place with large living room and full size kitchen. Included in the rent was weekly housekeeping and linen service. Sign me up !! He was so relieved not to have to deal with his house any longer. In his early 90's, my Mom would have Dad out there cleaning the gutters :P Or shoveling the snow.

So start looking around now. With a lot of us baby boomers wanting to do the same thing, we could find ourselves on a waiting list for these places.

Oh, and start downsizing your stuff. You'd be surprise how many things we accumulate over the years.
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It's a very good thing to look ahead and move when you choose to, rather than when you're forced to.

Um. How to put it..?

Even by a sober middle-of-the-road estimate, your life expectancy is fifteen-ish years; and as you're in reasonably good health you can add a fair bit to that without being too starry-eyed about it. But what about your husband?

If you like the idea of community living, and it does have many advantages especially if you walk in and make yourself really at home, then there would be a lot to be said for looking at continuing care facilities that could accommodate both of you, providing the activities and social opportunities you'd want and the specialist skilled nursing and personal care your husband will increasingly need.

There is never any certainty in life, of course. But given your respective ages and states of health, and genders come to that, the *likelihood* is that there will be another big change later on that you will have to adjust to on your own. Just a factor I wouldn't want you to ignore just because it only applies to you.
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cardell Jun 2019
thank you for your wise advice. I am actually working on cuttingback on stuff—getting rid of all the extras. We have only been in this house 6 yrs., but the stuff accumulates as our needs change. Right now I do have help with yard, paid of course. We live in a small community of about 14,000 so our choices are limited, but I am leaning towards a senior living facility which offers independent living. It’s hard to look ahead at the aging process and wonder what will happen to me in ten years!
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