I could really use some help dealing with two toxic family members... my aunt and my uncle.
Because of the way my aunt and uncle treated both my grandfather and my late grandmother over the past 4 years (The more ill and help they needed, the further they moved away and almost stopped coming to see them all together. They even went so far as to get themselves put into a position of POA so that they could put my grandparents forcefully into a home) there have been several changes made to my grandfathers will, trust and POA paperwork essentially giving my mother and I the power we need to take care of them and essentially giving both my mother and I all of their assets including their home upon their death for all the help we have given them these past 4 years (and until my grandfather passes which is going to be many more years to come).
My grandmother was not even buried for a hour and the questions started... they wanted to start rummaging through the house for things they wanted. But both my grandfather and mother said no... it will be done when we are ready. And that was the end of that.
Or we thought.
Now my aunt is sending out emails to family saying how my mother tricked them into making the changes or made the changes herself. They have even gone so far as to wait for my grandfather to leave for breakfast, show up to the house and demand access to the house to get things. When my mother refused saying that my grandfather should be there as well, my uncle literally went face to face with my mother, called her every dirty name under the sun and was quite close to hitting her. If I had not walked in, picked up the phone and told him to leave or I will dial 911 I am not quite sure what would have happened ( was not too polite either, but nobody messes with my family).
Now, Christmas came and went, everything was fine till my aunt called. Spent 60 seconds saying "Merry Christmas" to my grandfather and then started bad mouthing my mother and trying to convince him of changes that were made without his knowledge for over 20 minutes.
I honestly don't know what to do. My grandfather is 89, doesn't pay much attention to most things anyway, so his memory is not all that great. To top it off he won't even tell my aunt to back off or to simply stop talking like that on the phone. He just lets her keep going and puts up with it getting more and more confused.
My poor mother then has to go and find papers showing him the truth to constantly prove she didn't do anything he's not aware of. It tears her up inside when my aunt or uncle tries to twist my grandfather around to get him to believe that she tricked him or to get other family members to believe that we tricked them into the changes they made.
The harassment could all be ended if my grandfather would just tell my aunt and uncle "That's it, no more" but he's simply buried his head in the sand.
My mother and I simply don't know what to do. Even Hospice counselors and his lawyer have told him he needs to put an end to it for his sake, but he simply will not confront her.
Other then supporting him, what can we do to end this?