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I am slowly going through my childhood home and packing mom and dads clothes etc and taking them to charity.


My wife wants to keep the house and rent it. The house has not been updated in 40 years so it is dated, at first I was all for renting it since I could then hold on to my childhood home.


I started to figure up how much rent we could get without updating the house and it would take 20+ years of renting it to get what I could just sell it for now that is not even counting anything that would break in the 20+ years of renting it not to mention all the headaches that come from renters that I would have to deal with myself, I handle all the financial stuff.


We do not have any kids or any other family to leave it to so I want to sell it, take the money and invest it for our retirement we are in our early 40s so that would be 20+ years of interest as we already have investments in stocks etc. We also already own a home that is paid for.


I'm sure other people here can relate to going through your mom and dads clothes by yourself packing them up it is not easy, I come across clothes that I remember them wearing it just makes you sick to your stomach.


My wife of 20 years is not being supportive. I am packing up all there stuff on my own in there empty house. I have gotten her over to mom/dads a few times but she just wants to keep everything she just tells me it's strange with them not being here she just kind of shuts down.


I already have someone that wants to buy the house! We have been paying tax, power bills for months on a empty house. I do hate to see it go but I think it's the best choice.


I have to give my wife credit, she did take care of dad a few days at the end. He has been gone for 7 months mom has been gone for 5 years.


Anyone else a only child that can relate?


Thanks for listening/reading this forum is kind.

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I could completely understand your wife’s resistance if this were HER childhood home.
If her name is not on the deed then in reality she has no say in what you do with the house.
Also if it was left to you, she has little to say in what happens to it.
I think if she sat down with a realtor and understood what is involved with being a landlord and the risks involved she would see that selling is the best option.
Please make sure that the sale that you have lined up is Fair Market Value.
Obviously your other option is to sell your other house and move into your childhood home and renovate if you wish.
If you are taking votes…put me in the sell the older, outdated house column
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This is YOUR parents home, not your wife's parents home. You say she took care of your dad for "a few days at the end" so where is this huge attachment to the house and the belongings coming from, I don't get it? Normally it would be YOU not wanting to sell and HER pushing you to, but this situation is reversed. Hanging onto a dated old home is a black hole of expenses and a drain on your savings which affects your wife's finances as well as yours. If she's depressed and that depression is coming out in the form of wanting to hold onto the memories this house holds, then she needs to see her doctor to talk about anti depressants. If that's not the issue, then make an appointment with your financial advisor so he or she can explain the advantages of selling this home to your wife. Expanding your investment portfolio now will secure the financial future for both of you and is the wisest idea of all. Perhaps if a financial person explains that to her she can wrap her mind around selling the house and getting past whatever is blocking her from agreeing to it.

I am an only child too so it was hard for me to donate my father's clothes after he died. I saved quite a lot of them and my step daughter took 6 or 7 shirts home with her when she was here visiting, unbeknownst to me. She had stuffed animals made with dad's shirts in patches and sent them to me! An elephant, a bear and a dog. Once I had those mementos of dad, I was able to donate the rest of his clothing without a problem. Maybe you can do something similar with your parents clothes to keep their memory alive thru pieces of their clothing you fondly remember them wearing.

Wishing you the best of luck
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SnoopyLove Dec 2021
The stuffed animal idea is great! What a wonderful keepsake.
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I have rented several homes for various reasons. My experience is that the more you value a home for sentimental reasons the less you should be interested in renting it. Nobody will see the house as you do, nobody will care for it as you would like to have it cared for. Take a lot of photos, clean it up and stage it for the sale, take more photos. Then sell it. Get input from some good realtors/brokers, put a good price on it and sell it quickly. Be willing to take less than YOU think it is worth because it will be worth much more to you than to anybody else. Then never drive past the house again. The new owners will make changes and some of them will make you sad. Preserve the memories of the house and your life in it, but let the house go. It is part of your past.

Caring for a rental property is a big responsibility and costs more than you think and nets you less than you thought it would. Renters rights are on the rise, landlord rights are on the decline. Getting rid of unwanted tenants is very difficult and very expensive. You do not want that headache. Sell it to somebody who has no emotional stake in the property. They will deal with it better than you could. Every time I have rented out a home I have ended up promising myself that I will never do it again.
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Beatty Dec 2021
I have very sentimental people on both sides of my family. I dread the day we need to sell the older gen's homes.. Your words make total sense. Thanks.
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I’ll hope you don’t get mired down by the past. I’ve done the home clean out and selling, and while I know it’s an individual experience, I really found that dragging it out and hanging on to many things only made it worse. It’s the people you miss and surrounding yourself with their stuff doesn’t heal the wound. It’s actually been nice to see my parent's home with a new owner in it. It’s all lit up and decorated for Christmas and that brings me a smile. I hope you can find the same
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Sunnydayze Dec 2021
Great post! It took me several months to clean out my dad’s home and prep for sale even though it was a nice property. The new owners have done a great job making it their own and that alone brings me so much joy!
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I helped my parents sell their home to pay for their Assisted Living. The home was in need of so much work, it was rather sad to see the state in which they were living. It would have cost at least 150,000 to get that house ready for renters. Money that would never be recouped. It sounds like you have put some thought into what you want to do. I would make sure the offer you are getting is reasonable. The hubs and I contacted a very experienced realtor and he helped my parents get top dollar for that sad house.
Family members wanted to buy the house for about 30 seconds until I said, " I am here to help my parents. You'll have to pay market price. It's not negotiable."
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You do not want to rent. Renters do not take care of property they are renting. You can't request no children, against the law. If you say no animals, they still sneak them in. You have to paint and change carpeting every so many years. Every time you rent to new tenants, you need a CEO from the Township. If thousands of dollars worth of damages have been done, that comes out of your pocket. Then there are people that don't pay rent and you have to go thru the court to evict them which costs you time and money. You may want to go to your County housing board and see what you need to do to rent. Laws concerning landlords and tenant rights. You may be responsible for more than you think. You have rights but sometimes the renter has more. In the long run, you may see no profit.

Right now you have someone willing to buy it as is. Get an assessor in there to see what it is worth "as is". Then sell it . I, personally, would not take this on.
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My husband and I have owned multiple rentals. Unless you live near the property, managing maintenance, repairs and the renters can be very stressful. Trust me, a house that age is going to need repairs in addition to general maintenance. Your wife probably sees renting the property as a way to generate silent income. Trust me, it won’t be silent. I would definitely sell it in today’s market. I think it’s thoughtful that you are considering your wife’s opinion. However, heating and air conditioners can go out at the most inconvenient times for the owners. The maintenance in between leases/renters can also become costly even if you require a large deposit. Again, property management from a distance is not a piece of cake, unless you pay a local company to manage it for you and again, that’s an added cost. Best of everything to you!
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Once you rent it is no longer your childhood home, when you enter for repairs or to meet with tenants, it will seem a travesty to your memories. Your decision to sell seems very well thought out and realistic - just make sure the price you accept is a comparable one for today's market.
When I cleaned out my parents apartment, I intentionally tried to to donate or give away most of their things. It made me feel good that I was re-purposing their "stuff" and clothing. I kept many things for myself too - but in the end, it's not the stuff but the memories that are always in your heart and life does go on.
My condolences and warmest wishes for a positive outcome.
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It is a personal decision BUT Once my parents left the home, it just became another building. I rented it for a short time and it was a bother. Keep the memories but sell the building.
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DarkMatter, arm up, only child here. One way to deal with this is to make up a chart showing how much money you would make if selling the house now [as is] and the possibility of what your net worth would be putting said funds into stocks.

Now, do a chart showing how much money you would make [if any] if the house was kept as an "investment" and having tenants. Being a landlord is like having a business. There are profit and losses. Real estate market has it highs and lows, just like the stock market.

For myself, back decades ago I had excellent tenants for my properties, I went through a Realtor. The tenants were vetted, etc. I even allowed pets. As part of their rent, I paid for lawn service.

If your wife wants the house as a rental, is she willing to do the spreadsheets for income and expenses? I hired a CPA to do my income taxes, as it was complex. Is your wife willing to field the calls from the tenants, this is not a 9 to 5 M-F job.

Is she willing to go over to the house to fix things? Ready to wheel and deal for new items the house will need? Does she know any good roofers? Plumbers? Electricians? Is she willing to pay real estate taxes, higher homeowner's insurance/umbrella policy? Purchase new carpet between tenants? Understand in the Lease regarding "normal wear and tear".

Let us know what happens.
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