I am 66 years old single women. I have been divorced my 20 years. My two daughters and their family live 2 thousands miles away.
I moved in to my 90 years old mother’s home 3 years ago so she could stay in her home. I have my own income and I pay for all my expenses. I do not take any money from my mother. The family says I am living rent free. I do all the cooking, cleaning, yard work everything. I help with my mother's daily shower and hygiene.
My deceased brother's son is 43 yrs old and brother's daughter is 50. When they come for a visit they act as if they are in charge and I am the help. I have asked that the great grandchildren 10,11 and 12 years old not to play hide and seek in my mother's bedrooms ever time they come for a visit for the last 2 years. My niece told my mother that she wanted her son to have the same experience she had as a child coming to grandma house with no restrictions.
A lot of passive aggressive remarks and body language. This is my grandma’s house and I can do whatever I want attitude.
I admit out of spite, I ask them not to get in the refrigerator and kitchen cabinets with out asking. I also asked them not to eat in the living room with out a plate.
I put a lock on the stand alone garage. It has never had a lock. My nephew went out to the garage and complained about it being messy to his grandma. He said to my mother I had a hard time getting around in the garage because it is messy and I don’t know what I going to do about it yet. My belongings and furniture is stored in the garage. The garage is full of a lot of stuff but, not messy. He did not have reason to be out in the garage anyway. He wanted to get his grandfather’s table saw and take it to his home. My father is deceased.
This all seems childish and silly. The adult grandchildren say I don’t make them feel welcome coming for visits. I have asked them to call before they come so I can have their grandma ready for a visit. They live 40 minutes away and come by 3 or 4 times a year. Now they do not call my mother or come over at all.
Maybe my problem is that no one has said thank you for taking care of their grandma. No one ever does anything for free or just because, my mother writes them a check for changing a light bulb.
I never had a dispute with my niece and nephew always a good relationship. Now I don’t like them and they do not like me.
I truly do not want to apologize to them but someone has to be a grown up.
I feel ashamed of my behavior and it is my fault that they do not call or come to see my mother. Which means she does not get to see her great grandchildren.
My mother can not live alone and no one is going to quit their job and lives and move in to take care of her.
My mother is easy to live with and care for. We have a good relationship. She stays in the bed all day watching old western movie and t v shows. Having visitors is good for her and makes her happy. She enjoys visits but she ready for them to leave after 30 minutes.