I've not posted a question before, but have followed many responses and found them helpful. My mother recently entered Memory Care (5 days ago). Monday/Tuesday went well, she participated, sounded good Tuesday when I called. Then Tuesday night she was "up all night" agitated, screaming and wandering the hall. She fell yesterday in another resident's bathroom and has been agitated today. They've given her an anxiety medicine helped for a little bit Wed night, but not last night and she was agitated again today.
She uses a wheelchair and doesn't get around easily due to prior history of lymphoma and muscle weakness and recent history of brain lymphoma and radiation. She is unable to see things to the left (vision cut) and hits doorways, obstacles. She is unable to control her left hand well, often she'll reach for something only to miss it, or the hand moves on its own. They asked for bio and history. I included coping strategies we've used since January when she became delusional wanting to "go home", insisting this isn't her house.... She still asks to be taken home at times during the day, but has been fairly easy to distract/redirect. When I asked them if she's asking for anything in particular, or if she responded to hot tea (one of the strategies), they seemed surprised, they hadn't read the history yet. The other things seemed a surprise as well. But once she's escalated, nothing much helps... They've suggested 3 days before a visit (window visit with "safe hug window") to give her time to adjust. They've started her on an anxiety medicine that hasn't helped much, so they'll ask for something else. She was on a low dose of Seroquel at home, nothing else needed.
I'm frustrated that she's trying to express a need they're not 'hearing', that they've not read her history to find how to redirect her, that she's able to get into another's bathroom without them knowing? I talked to her Tuesday, she sounded good. Briefly yesterday (Thurs) when she said "I'm about to pop! I've got to go pee!"... so I said, call the caregiver and go!... The staff respond to my e-mails, they seem like they are sharing info with each other, know what she's done in last 24 hrs etc. It was a highly recommended facility that is the only one we saw that is w/c accessible, a plus to help her stay as functional/independent as possible... I don't know how long to give it before we say enough! and bring her home (to same old and progressively worse situation?)... and afraid they will say enough! and tell us to come get her they can't handle her needs.
Sorry this has been so long....am I asking too much? too soon? is meds to calm her part of the process and it'll work out? I don't want her sedated just to keep her there. She has deficits and memory loss but wasn't totally out of it...