I just read a question someone asked about grieving during the holidays and experiencing those firsts after someone you love has passed away. My problem is that I am grieving over the loss of my husband who is suffering from late stage Alzheimer’s and for the first time will not be here with me at home during the season. I see him every day, but all traces of the wonderful man he once was are gone. I dread the season frankly and find myself hiding my true feelings from my children. I have a wonderful family and lots of grandchildren around me, but my heart is so sad. Every first time this year has been so painful....but the holidays which at one time were so wonderful hold little prospect of joy for me now.