I feel bad but Mom (only 76, but an old 76) is just making me nuts. I know so many of you are dealing with much more difficult situations than I am so I apologize for whining about my life, when, yes, it could (and probably will) be soooo much worse.
So, here's the background. Mom had a knee replaced in July. In spite of how little PT she actually did, she's healed up well and, as I expected, that knee is now the least of her worries. Her other knee is almost as bad as the replaced one was and qualifies for surgery too. She's said "I'd have to be crawling to get the left knee done". OK, great plan.
Shoulder arthritis is also causing her a lot of pain. She is starting PT for that in 10 days. Also has back and hip pain. She thinks it's funny to say that there is no where on her body that does not hurt.
She's still in PT for her replaced knee, mostly because of on what was supposed to be her last day, she wobbled quite a bit on the stairs during PT and the therapist was not impressed and wants her to continue since she is a fall risk. I'm all in favor of that!
Now, for the problem. She does not want to do her home exercise program. Whines that it hurts. No matter how many people have told her that she HAS to do the PT, she does not care and does not "want" to. She wants to sit in her recliner all day and feel sorry for herself. She wants to move as little as possible, thinking that will keep her as pain free as possible. I know her pain is real but I just can not wrap my head around WHY she does not believe the rest of the world that inactivity is NOT the key to resolving her pain??? Her short term thinking is going to severely and negatively impact her future.
I have battled with her about this before and had our last blowout about it yesterday. She lives with me and I'm so angry that as she refuses to do anything to help herself, she is just making more work for me and my husband. I wanted to make that point to her yesterday but she stormed off in a crying fit when I'd only just begun to try to make some conversation about this.
I see her just giving up and declining and not understanding or caring. I'm so DONE with this. BUT if I'm done with it, she's going to need to hire herself and aid to help her with some little things and her needs are going to quickly escalate if she continues on this path. And in a nursing home ultimately. I'm so upset because this is AVOIDABLE. She IS capable of doing the PT, proven by doing it when she GOES to PT. Why oh why does a person CHOOSE to NOT help themselves and insure their own decline, where they are going to suffer more and miss out on all kinds of great things??
I've offered to help her with her PT and she doesn't take me up on it. After surgery, I tried to help her but quickly turned it over to her because I was just toooo frustrated with her laziness, for lack of a better word.
What's a girl to do???