Hello all,
The questions and answers here have been so helpful. It has released some of the burden I am carrying like many of you. My situation is quite different. I live in the States, I'm an only child and my elderly mother is 82 and lives in Romania. Things have been well for a while but there are signs that maybe Alzheimer's is setting in. She has good days and bad days where she calls me many times looking for things she can't find. In her good days she is very lucid and can carry a conversation. I have some friends there who have been helping care for her but they are worried too about her condition. We have talked about a retirement home but she absolutely refuses to go. I have looked into home care but it's not easy to find there. I have found a company that could administer her meds and check on her medically. She says she is fine on her own but I still worry. She has always been a very independent woman and I think the thought of not being able to take care of herself really bothers her. My friends who help her are putting a lot of pressure on me to find a solution to her situation but mom won't really listen to my advice. I feel a lot of guilt and powerlessness. I am 43 and have 2 kids at home, 9 and 12. I need my job to provide for the family, can't just leave everything and go take care of her. What do you guys make of this? Anybody else in a similar situation?
Thanks.
Honestly by time you pay for airfare and take time off work, it would be less expensive to pay someone there as a proxy to transition her into a care facility when she is legally ready. Does your mother have any financial means to help pay for her care? If she moves to a NH does she have a home, car and assets that would need to be sold? Best to make allies of her neighbors so they can be your eyes and ears on the ground. I wish you creative solutions that help you both!