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My mother is 61. Six months ago she started to have problems with hypertension. Her blood tension skyrockets everytime she gets angry. The problem is that she doesn't control that. Most outbursts are unreasonable, way out of proportion and completely unstoppable once they start. If she hears something she didn't want to or interprets the situation her way, the yelling and cursing starts, followed up by the surge in blood pressure. Each outburst leave her in worse health as she doesn't tolerate well the prescribed medication, plus she thinks it's unreasonable that she even has to take them. Most of those tantrums are aimed at me as I'm spending most of time with her. Moreover, I'm constantly hearing that I'm solely the reason of hypertension and elevated blood pressure and what an awful, unrespectful etc. person I am. However, when I say I'll distance myself so my mother wouldn't have to deal with me, I'm even worse person because she gave me everything and I just want to disappear and karma will get me. I don't know how to react to that behaviour. I try to stay speachless each time because saying anything seems to worsen it but toxic words I hear everytime are really hurting me and the blame that is put on me is unbearable.

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Ellami, do you live with your mother?

Aside from her bp, does she have health issues that require you to be there?

Can you simply move out?
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There are some medications that can be used to lower blood pressure quickly but most of them cause rebound (blood pressure may elevate even higher as the medication wears off) and offer no long term reduction. I would expect at least some daily blood pressure medication would be needed, maybe even an anti-anxiety medication too given her behaviors. It's normal for blood pressure to rise during a temper tantrum, but it usually doesn't rise to dangerous levels unless there is some underlying blood pressure issue to begin with, at least in my family's experience.

A mild diuretic, drinking more water, reducing sodium, and increasing activity with a daily walk or two often has an immediate impact on blood pressure. Losing weight helps about half of people and salt intake impacts some people a lot more than others.

Irritability is also often a symptom of changing blood sugar levels too but I would assume her PCP has at least performed basic blood testing including an A1C level.
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Such a good point, TN, about the kidneys controlling bp. My mother was screened for those issues during her bp investigations but I'd forgotten that.

And Joann is correct, this is not medication that should be taken irregularly. Is that how the doctor prescribed it? (Is it possible mom misunderstood the doctor's instructions?)

How does your mother know her bp is elevated? Is she measuring it several times a day?
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ellami May 2020
Sure, she's controlling her bp daily. As to the medication, it was changed since the beginning and advised by doctor who prescribed them to not take them everyday as my mother's bp has normalised over time (except for anger situations). When she was taking pills everyday her bp was dropping too low. However, I'm going to purse the kidney stone issue because it was a problem in the past (though, again it was advise to just monitor it, no procedures or intervention was needed).
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You don't take BP medicine when your pressure is elevated. It needs to be taken everyday. This maybe part of her problem. And if these symtoms have showed up since she started the medication, maybe she needs another medication. Maybe Mom iss having TIAs and she doesn't know it.

I agree, Mom needs to be evaluated further.
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I believe your mother needs a new or perhaps additional doctors, probably a kidney specialist for the blood pressure cause and a neurologist to evaluate your mother's cognitive issues. Your mother's behavior is a lot like my father's after he developed vascular dementia from multiple small TIAs. Has your mother had a brain scan to look for areas damaged from TIAs? Scans to eliminate the possibility the sudden blood pressure issue is not from a tumor or calcified kidney stone? I don't remember all the particulars anymore but when my father was seeing a kidney specialist about his suddenly higher blood pressure there was a procedure that could be done in the first 6-9 months to prevent kidney damage and chronically high blood pressure - Dad wasn't a candidate because by that time he had too much kidney damage. It's important to determine the cause before the high blood pressure damages other vital organs or causes a stroke.
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If, as you say, your mom is misinterpreting things that are being said, you might seek out a consult with a psychiatrist.

Do you live with her? Can you see her less, since interactions with you seem to be a trigger?

My mom, at 88, started having sudden spikes of blood pressure. No physical reason was ever found, but she did have a problem with anxiety.

Her bp problem was made much better by getting on antianxiety and antidepressant meds, prescribed by a geriatric psychiatrist.
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If it's just you that she is doing this to then you should let her know that you love her and want to help her but if being around her causes these outbreaks that you will not be coming around as often because it is neither good for her or for you.

Then the next time and every time she bursts out, leave the room and if that doesnt work, tell your mom you see that you are upsetting her and it's time for you to go, kiss her goodbye and leave and do this every time. Don't acuse your mom or have long talks about her bursting out, ect she'll know.

if she really wants you around, she'll stop bursting out.
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Ellami, welcome!

Has your mother been evaluated for mental illness or dementia? Is she on medications other than for bp?

Have you spoken to her doctor about the connection between her anger outbursts and her bp surges?
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ellami May 2020
We searched for any reason for her bp problem as it seemed to emerge out of nowhere. So she regularly visited her family doctor, cardiologist etc. Had all sorts of tests and scans. Neither has found the true reason for elevated bp nor other ilnesses, therefore these are the only medication she's taking (and even not on the daily basis, just when bp is elevated). In their words she's healthy, should just take care of herself and avoid any stress. Now, the only problem are those easily induced outburtsts which allegedly I am causing
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