How to deal with a parent that doesn't want to take care of them selves?

If you do decide a Doctor's appointment is needed - plan how to make it happen.

Be straight up honest: I am worried about you Mom. It is important. I'm coming with you.

Or of that fails, flu jab, renewal of prescriptions, called in for 5 yearly assessment - whatever you can come up with to get her there.

Drop a letter off at the Doctor's the week before listing your concerns.

If behaviour/symptoms get worse, consider calling EMS for advice, eval & transport for investigation.

My mother had the same kind of issues when she moved in with us. I thought she was being stubborn, and kinda loony.

I got angry with her, and we went back and forth, arguing about her not doing simple things that she expected us to do as children.

It was through the wisdom of the members of this forum, that I finally understood that my mother had a dementia.

Keep coming back here, and read all you can about dementia.

Good luck to you.

Sounds like you think mom is capable of caring for herself and doing these things when in fact she's not. A person who's pooping in the tub, for starters, is not functioning on all cylinders. Same with refusing to take a shower, which is a classic symptom of dementia or dementia brought on by a stroke. Make up a story about how Medicare is now requiring everyone to have an annual physical by their PCP otherwise insurance coverage will be terminated. If she still refuses to go, tell her she has to move into a nursing home if she won't cooperate bc you can't handle her anymore. That should change her mind in short order. Let the doctor know ahead of time what's going on and request a mini cognition test be administered to her along with a CT scan or MRI to check for strokes.

Best of luck to you

Your mom has dementia. She needs help.

You say below that your mom has no signs of forgetfulness, yet everything you're describing indicates that she has some type of dementia. Either that or she has extreme depression.
And why is she pooping in the tub? That in itself is not normal and should be a huge red flag that something mentally is amiss.
I'm not sure why you opted to have her move in with you, but it may be time to be looking at alternative options.

Mom is 75 lives with me no signs of forgetfulness and has been going on for about 9 months now .she has not been assessed by a doctor because she refuses to go to see him .

How long has your Mom had these issues? How old is she? Is she having other issues such as forgetfulness? Has she been assessed by her doctor? Does she live with you?

The more information you supply the Forum the better people here can help you.