My dad has been a great support, but we had a pretty rubbish childhood at times where he always put his girlfriends first and dumped me on family members from a very young age, which I’ve dealt with internally through taking myself for counselling years ago.
Now things have changed and he has been single for 20+ years and did his own thing, now he’s ill its all changed, and he’s leaning on me like I was his significant other.
Since COVID-19 he’s not been able to go out much as he’s classed as high vulnerability, and Ive had more so than ever taken the brunt of his negativity.
He was Diagnosed with lung cancer 19 months ago, but at the time was told that he wouldn’t survive 12 months and that it would have a very painful demise. He decided against chemotherapy because it probably would’ve seen him off anyway because of his COPD. So I searched high and low and found a Brazilian rainforest protocol that he takes every day that has kept him going for 19 months now, 7 months past the consultants sell by date!
Since COVID-19 back in March I’ve done all the running around, shopping, online shopping cut my work hours by a third and loss of income, and he wants to see me at least two days out of seven. I work three full days a week, I have two children to care for, a large house to keep clean, laundry, house work, cook, and two large dogs to walk, and with the COVID-19 because I work from home I have to deep clean everywhere multiple times a day, more so then I would do prior to the lockdown.
Some days it feels like I can’t do right from wrong, I bend over backwards for him, there is myself and my older brother who does absolute bugger all for him to the point where he doesn’t even going to see him. The fact that I’ve basically put my free time on hold to be there for my dad, when he is moaning about every little detail, I’ve got to the stage now where is basically peeing me off big-time.
Two days Ago I got the usual - email having a go at me over really silly things. So I emailed him back saying basically maybe it’s time he sorted his own shopping online stuff out.
Now as usual he is ignoring me. He is popping round this morning for yet another favour which he is quite capable of doing himself, so I have snuck out early so I don’t have to be there to see him. Quite frankly I’ve had enough of his childish behaviour, and he is persistent nagging and moaning.
Does anyone else have this to content with? And have you got any nuggets of advice on how to deal with your parents, that are in poor health and use it as a trump card to manipulate you but in a psychological and mild manner?
Thanks in advance.