How to cope with the stress and depression that comes along with providing care for your parents?

Although you do not state why your father is in a nursing home, with that in mind, perhaps he needs to stay in a facility, and perhaps it is time form your mother too. You both may be in over your heads. This can be so very difficult trying to care for both. I wish you and your brother the best. Keep posting it will help.

You know, one step at the time. Just take care of one thing, then another later on. Nothing happens overnight. It’s a slow process but there is hope. Stick around and don’t give up. Ask anything. Trust me, we have all had a million concerns. No one will judge you.

Vent if you need to vent. Cry if you need to. All of us have. Best wishes to you and your family.

What helps is taking little breaks and having a sitter.
It doesn't help to dwell on it. I've done that. It helps to have a plan ie. What you do, and what others do, and boundaries. Know your limits and take care of yourself too.

Spidypig88, what are the health issues of your parents? Do either of them have memory issues? What can your parents do for themselves? I realize it could be a time where someone needs to be with them around the clock, and luckily you have your brother to help out.

Are your parents still living in their own home? Time to seriously think about senior living if your parents can budget for that cost. If budgeting is out of the question, start the process of getting both qualified for Medicaid [which is different than Medicare]. Medicaid will pay for room/board and care at a nursing home.

As for coping with the stress, that isn't an easy answer. Some will say take a day off, but that could be easier said then done. There is always that stress of your cellphone ringing that one of the parents needs help. For me, I had to stop going to the movies, eating out, or going shopping. Groceries were now bought on-line, along with everything else.

My primary doctor had recommended meds for me to help take the edge off but I refused. Later I could kick myself for not taking her advise.

There is a lot to think about.

It is hard. It can become overwhelming. I am glad your brother helps you. Many caregivers do it alone.

You mentioned nursing home. Why is your dad there? Is it rehab? Do you feel that it may be time your mom and dad reside permanently in a facility?

It is depressing and stressful. Are you taking breaks when needed? Do you have sitters to stay with your parents occasionally? Have you contacted Council on Aging for help?

They will do a needs assessment. It sounds like your parents would definitely qualify. There is a wait list but when approved you will receive help with bathing, preparing meals, tidying up rooms and sitting with them, they stay for four hour shifts. It is a free service to those who qualify.

Best wishes to you and your family.