My mother passed 2016. First time I'm faced with a passing of a loved one. I need to know how to cope with what she gone through with near death and with every instance I was called in. It was very Difficult for mom - suffering 3 times. I'm just sooo hurt and I couldn't do anything right. The breathing and drowning for hours that led to her near death, it's not right and why did she had to go through. Because of her stroke she couldn't swallow or talk. Then she got scabies for weeks at nursing and MDs did not know and they advise me to put hydrocortisone for rash, then the bedsore, then she passed of MRSA- Sepsis. How can I cope with what happened to her. Mom is very pure at heart and why did she have to go through those experiences. I rescued her 3 times and the worst thing, did I prolong her suffering. Meaning make the decision to have tubes going to clear saliva and on a drying pill 2. Saliva again and respirator on her face, I knew she didn't like it because her frail arm reach out pull it off. 3. Came into hospital when saw mom was all wet with sweat with shallow breathing and they came in with tubes. My father in law just got out the hospital and he could talk he said the worst thing ever was the tubes went in the nose I feel so guilty looking back it just kills me, I miss her so much. This is the only way I can explain . I need help.